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Natural Consequences for SD

halo1998's picture

Sd and her friends are in a tiff.  One "friend" is in her study hall class.  Yesterday DH gets an alert that SD isn't in study hall. thing he gets a text from SD telling him..that she has detention.  DH asks "Why do you have detention?"  Its because she skipped study hall.  

DH told SD..under no circumstances is she to skip classes..even study hall.  He understands things are tense with her "friend" but skipping class is a hard NO.  DH told her..there are plenty of times in life you have to be in the proximity of someone you are in a tiff with.   This is a learning opportunity for you to learn how to deal with that..and skipping study hall is NOT the solve.

So..yesterday she did her detention and we are "assuming" Beaver or someone from the Beaver clan picked her up, since this is Beaver's week.

Today....SD has another day of detention.  She sends DH a text...

"Dad can you pick me up today after detention around 3?"

DH - "NO I am working and I have meetings all afternoon."

SD.."Can Halo pick me up?

DH- "NO.she cannot. "

SD "I guess I will have to walk home.  sad frowny face emoji"

DH- "yes you will have to walk home.  Lets be clear if you get more detentions and you are at our will walk home.  Neither myself or Halo are going to pick you up from a situation you created and could easily avoid."


Whew....DH knows even if I could get out of work (which I can't) I wouldn't pick up SD from detention. Our house is less than .5 miles from the school, SD can walk.  Perhaps she will use that time to relect on her choices.....BAWWWHAHAHAHAHAHA..NAH SHE WON'T.


thinkthrice's picture

Didn't fall far from the Beaver tree.

ndc's picture

Half a mile?!?  Good grief - we lived roughly half a mile from my elementary school and I walked to and from school starting in first grade unless the weather was awful.  A high schooler asking for a ride home from school when it's less than half a mile is ludicrous. 

Rags's picture

He walked, both ways every day.  Including in inclement weather.

When SS was in his first 2yrs of HS he took the bus.  When he missed the bus, he had to get himself to school. We lived about 5miles from school.   He missed the bus twice while we lived there. He would go tearing out of the apartment, run through our neighborhood, through the woods, to the next neighborhood and flag down his bus.

Using their feet to get somewhere is not a bad thing for a kid to experience.  Particularly when they have an alternative that they have to be responsible to access.

Miss the bus... walk.  Get detention... walk.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

SD could benefit from walking everyday.  

Can't believe she is skipping study hall to avoid a frienemy. Silly girl


I just google my walk every morning to the local transit to see how far it is.  I couldn't believe it was about 0.5 miles.  Its less than 10 minutes and such a short journey I don't even think of it as a proper walk.  Your SD should be walking every day.  It would do her the world of good.

Hastings's picture

Good on your DH for making her face the natural consequences of her choices! Not all parents are that way.

A local all-boy Catholic high school made the news here several years ago because they told parents of a new policy: If your son forgets his homework/gym clothes/lunch, you are not allowed to bring it to him. These boys are in high school and old enough to problem-solve for themselves. Some parents were outraged. I thought "that's a good, logical policy that will only help these young men." We weren't talking about babies, here.

Yesterdays's picture

I never delivered forgotten lunches for my kids. They only did it once and then never again... 

Harry's picture

We know what you are good for.. Taxi driver.. You are no good for anything else.  And every thing is your fault.. But when it's good for her.  She avoided her friend but doesn't want to avoid you when a ride is involved.   Disengage. Disengage 

Yesterdays's picture

My kids sometimes bike 5 km's to school or a few km's to work. Sometimes they walk to work 3 km's. They also take city bus all around.. Poor SD will manage... Ridiculous!! 

thinkthrice's picture

And so did my bios.  By contrast, Chef's ferals lived practically on top of the school (5 minute walk) but either Chef or the Gir or Battleaxe would drive then to and from school..always.   The five nanoseconds they moved about 10 minutes away from the school, they were "too good" to take the bus ( they didn't get along with the other school children is more accurate) and once again were driven to and from school.

Another fun fact:  the Girhippo's alma mater aka the ferals' school district was special and always started one day after all the other schools in the area ( total of five counties). 


MissK03's picture

We live under a mile from the middle and high school. SS16 (thru her high school career now a junior.. until her license a few weeks ago) has gotten a ride everyday from SO or SOs friends wife (they live next door and car pooled SD and their kids) and her freshman year her friends mom picked her up everyday. I'm trying to remember if they drove them when she was in the 8th grade.. but that was 2020 and half the time they were home.. it's a blur. 

Too good to take the bus. A LOT of kids in town are like that.. there was a driver shortage and the buses were packed some times but... I don't know.. to me it's spoiled.

Now when SSs were in school.. if SS20 missed the bus (with me NOT with SO) he walked... I would actually drive by him walking on my way to work haha.

I was responsible for making sure they were up 3 days a week because SO was at work already. If SS20 missed the bus with SO he would throw a fit about a ride..

Every single morning it was a nightmare with him... "bus" is actually a trigger word for my lab... We would yell to SS "BUS!!" When the bus was coming down the street... he would mad dash down the stairs and just be insane...

So my lab would get all amped when he heard the word bus.. he would run up and down the stairs and start barking at him haha. He still reacts to the word bus. 

Rags's picture

in 5th, 6th & 7th.  

I marched in 10th - 12th.  All over campus.

Kids need to get themselves placed and learn that confidence.

So they do not call mommy and daddy to solve insignificant problems in their teens, 20s and beyond.

No help changing a flat tire, no running to their house to flip a circuit breaker, or a leaky sink, etc....

While these are not things that many kids are introduced to as they are growing, which used to be things that kids participated in, they have to solve these issues for themselves.  

Even when they are in dress clothes, have a fresh manicure, and have zero idea how to proceed.  "Read the owners manual. CLICK!"