Tales of the invisible birthdaty/xmas presents...A B* chronical
Birthdays...things to be celebrated and usually an occassion for a gift.
At our house, kids gets a birthday present, usually of their choice with in reason, a cake or whatever yummy dessert they would like and they get to pick where we go out to dinner.
Example: SD turned 14 a few weeks back. She received air pods from DH and I, had fondue instead of cake and chose sushi for dinner. DD and DS got her fairy lights for her room, some makeup brushes, fake nails and some body wash/lotion.
Pretty good birthday.....SD was happy.
Went to the Beavers.....SD actualy birthday was the day before Mother's Day. We celebrated early since SD would be going back to the Beaver Dam. Saturday rolled around....SD got....nothing. She got a promise of a birthday present later because Beaver just didn't have time to get anything. Now to be noted..SD rotates between houses a week on/a week off. Meaning Beaver had at least a whole week with no SD to get a present. Being we are in the time of Covid...she had plenty of time to do what we did ORDER SOMETHING AND HAVE IT DELIVERED. But..nope nada. Not even a cake and they had Micky D's for dinner. However, the next day, Beaver demanded to know what SD got Beaver to revere her GU. It was mother's day after all. SD had made her a card because DH will not take SD to get anything for Beaver. Sadly the card was not good enough. It was not a store bought item.
(DH refuses as when he did this in the past Beaver takes this to mean he wants her back. As in "oh you got me a gift, how sweet. See kids I told you DH still likes me and wants to be with me." - this happened and DH was MORTIFIED and had to tell the kids no he does not want to be with her and he was being nice to help them with a gift. It was a sh*t show)
This happens all the time..here is a list of items the kids were promised and never received. The presents are always going to come later. Spoiler they never come..
SD - a turtle, a goldfish, a typewriter, a bicycle, a new phone (her wouldn't charge), an American Girl Doll, clothes, shoes and the list goes on.
Dh says sadly this is normal. When they were married Beaver would hand DH a list for her birthday or xmas and expect ALL of the items not DH just pick or choose. He found that out the first year they were married. He failed to get the whole list and Beaver pitched a temper tantrum that he didn't get whole list. DH, however, got nothing from Beaver because...She didn't have time to get him anything.
So..in Beavers world promising some present is the same as giving and ACTUAL present. That it is better to receive than give...