I do think that infidelity is possible to overcome. BUT it takes a lot of work and no matter what happens that fracture is always there. 

Whatever you decide, you know you have all of us supporting you.

I am so sorry for what you are going through halo.  But I believe that you'll end up in a better place in the other side of all this.  You are a strong lady and you're right to think things through and process.  Wishing you all the best.

Im glad that you are being smart and doing the research. We never go into this thinking that we will experience this kind of betrayal. Im so sorry.

It IS a lot to process. You don't have to make any decisions until you're ready. And your H's behavior and his willingness (or not) to address his betrayal is important information.

Much as it hurts I’m glad you finally know the truth.  Nothing but support over here for you.

In your prior post, someone asked the same thing I wondered:  did he actually meet up with anyone, or was it an online flirtation?

I had a man in my life years ago, he was a very jealous person, and got really mad whenever my attention was not 100% fixed on him.  Needles to say, the relationship didn't last long.

I'm into online gaming, so sometimes I get into team chat with the people I play with.  They live hundrends of miles away, all races, ages, genders.  It was part of the strategy of the game.

Well, he got so mad about that, he decided to get into a little tit-for-tat about it, by having salacious conversations online with several "women", one by the name of NaughtyWife.  It was left open for me to discover, but my kids found it first, and told me about it.

Whatever.  I wasn't jealous, it just seemed highly hypocritical.  And just so, so, soooo stoopid.

That wasn't the dealbreaker.  It was part of a pattern of passive aggressive exhausting daily bullcrap.  Like getting huffy if I had a phone coversation with anyone, including my ladyfriends and family.  Or getting mad if I read a book, even if I was sitting the same room with him.  He used to nag me incessantly about anythng I did that he wasn't interested in, like reading, video games, going to the gym.  The only thing I was "allowed" to do is sit and watch TV with him, and only if he got to pick the show.  Then he'd always fall asleep and snore, but if anyone tried to sneak the remote out of his hand, he'd wake up and lose his mind.  Working overtime at my job was cause for him to show up at my work to check up on me.  I don't know how it would have been possible, but somehow I was always cheating on him.

So I issued an ultimatum: I forbade him to nag me anymore.  And his solution was to sit in a corner and pout.  Like a dark cloud of tantruming toddler, every single evening, sucking all the oxygen out of the room.  Somehow he thought that was a good idea.

So if it's nothing but an online flirtation, that's one thing, if he's got other selfish issues, that's something else.

I'm sorry you are going through this.. you will get through it! 

My DH cheated...physical and emotional. We have worked through most of it. If you want to talk, I'd be glad to listen or share.

Hope you don't mind. 

I know this must be incredibly difficult and yes.. it's hard to throw away so much time and it's scary to think about being on our own again right!?

But, if you truly feel this was more "emotional" vs physical.. or  possibly not even emotional.. but sometimes people seek out this kind of thing to get a thrill of attention etc... like it's not really cheating.. just getting an ego bump?

Maybe if the balance of your relationship and lives were good.. it is worth expploring therapy to work through what led him down this path?