Im going to blow a gasket
I have been having issues for a couple of years with my stepdaughter/blended family.My girlfriend & SD live full time with me in my previous marriage's house.My SD is 16,I have two sons from a previous marriage 18 & 11.I have joint custody with the x-wife,we swap every Saturday afternoon.The problem I have been having is the SD is an extremely spoiled girl from her BD,whatever she wants she gets.She sees him a couple times a week for a couple of hours at a time.He lives only 50 miles away & he works in the same city SD goes to school.My two kids get along with her somewhat,but I think it is because they think have to with the situation we are all in.SD manipulates everything that goes on everyday,I love when she has to work after school so I can get free time in my own house.Her mom has no control over her at all,really nobody does.My parents are very spoiling of my oldest kid because he is in sports,she takes exception to that.She is always whining that my parents pay for some of his gas in his vehicle,I hear this at least once a week.The new on that was just brought up was last night that sent me over the edge....I am becoming numb to it.Recently is the question brought up what my parents were going to buy my son for graduation..."I bet he will get a new car" as she tells me matter of factly.I said I didnt know,fact is we just talked about it earlier in the day,because I was going to help pay for it.She then goes on to saying that she "expects" a car from them when she graduates,"If they want to be called grandma & grandpa,they better act like ones" Really? Her mom is the one that wanted SD to call them grandpa & grandma,as they are hesitant of the situation.My SD..(we aren't married,so is she really my SD?)hardly evens talks to them.When we have family get togethers for the holidays SD always has a reason to not be there or leave before its over,she says my family is boring! I am really starting to hate women,which I didnt before this relationship,I could go on with stories,but I need to get back to work.It is hard to work because this is all I think about,I have no emotions left inside.My girlfriend has issues with my oldest son,but they ar trivial compared SD mouth.Girlfriend gets mad when my oldest son does not pick up his towels,clothes etc.I heard her under her breath the other day when she says I cant wait til he goes to college I cant deal with it anymore....wow.I think I need a fresh start,I dont like anything I used too.I watch cartoons at night,thats the only thing that excites me anymore,pretty sad.
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They have no obligation to
They have no obligation to her. I would tell her that now...
If you are miserable and not married, why stay?
I agree with Identity -- does
I agree with Identity -- does this child not have grandparents of HER own? Whom I'm sure does stuff for HER but not OP's children. Right?
I love my DH's parents to death. They love my children as if they were their own grandchildren. HOWEVER, I know for a fact that their wills are written to include ONLY my DH's children. I also know DH's parents have set up college funds for DH's kids, but not mine. None of this bothers me in the least.
little bitch! grandma &
little bitch! grandma & grandpa don't owe her shit!! especially a car. what about her bio grandparents??
i think you need to plan your exit strategy and boot gf & her entitled little bitch of a daughter out the door.
seriously, you're already miserable, don't plan on it getting any better. cut your losses and move on to greener pastures!! good luck!
it is unbelievable how
it is unbelievable how quickly children can destroy a relationship. My FH is the perfect man for me - except for the fact that he has 3 teenage children and completely changes when they are around. It used to be that he would revert back to "himself" once they left - we have them eoweekend and Wednesday nights - but now there is so much tension surrounding them that it has become nearly permanent. He knows that I have lost respect for him for letting them hold him emotionally hostage and bowing to the wishes of his ex-wife but, instead of doing something to address it, he simply becomes angry at me for feeling that way.
I differ from you in that I have no children due to infertility. I had always wanted a family and did everything possible to make a happy home. However, the kids are rewarded by their mother for their bad behavior toward me and their father. Two of them are no longer "gracing us with their presence" and, although my FH says he does not blame my presence in his life for it, his demeanor says differently.
My relationship - like yours seems to be - is merely a shell of what it used to be. There is so much anger and bitterness on both sides. I think we both feel as if the other let them down. I can hear your pain coming through your post because i feel the very same way. Best of luck to you in working to a conclusion that is right for you!
I have a similar problem and
I have a similar problem and I feel your pain. My BD17 gets straight As, plays sports, follows the rules, stays completely out of trouble, SS17 has broken more rules in the past 2 years that our entire household yet he expects the same rewards as my daughter!! My parents bought her a used car and he now expects grandpa and grandma to buy him a car as well. He keeps a tally of everything I buy for my daughter and what I don't buy him! It's a no win situation! I've been married to his dad for 8 years and I tell you, it DOESN'T get better - it ONLY GETS WORSE!! It really does, I think blended families are a recipe for disaster, there are way too many negative factors involved. Good luck to you and your boys!!!
Thanks for all the comments.I
Thanks for all the comments.I have been lost in emotions for too long about all of this.My girlfriend & I dated in junior high for two years,both of us got married/divorced & found each other again.I had not forgotten about her & she didnt forget about me.Time sure changes everything,when we got back together everything seemed to be forever....now its hard for me to even look at her or even talk to her.Words hurt bad when they come from people you love.I need to get out fast.
Urgh! Self entitled skids, so
Urgh! Self entitled skids, so pleasant to be around and talk to.
Honestly, if my skids said anything similar to what many of you posters have written I would completely p*ss on their parade...something along the lines of ...(laugh) "yeah right..." and if they question it act shocked and stipulate "what my parents buy ds/dd is their business, they have chosen to do that for their grandchild. Just as YOUR biological grandparents have a right to chose to or not..."
If my skids tallied up things I was purchasing for my own bio kids I would ensure they got less from me. Greed and avarice is a replusive quality and I would calmly explain why their own gifts had significantly changed, due to their own expectant, rude and ungrateful attitude.
If they dont like it, suggest they chalk it up in line with the other million or so things they are intent on holding against you.