It's hard watching my husband hurt from the actions of his own kids (SD27, SD22). He has been divorced over 10 years, I have been in the picture for the last 3 1/2. I know the stories his ex told everyone because I caught wind of a lot of them. She painted him to be a total asshole to all who would listen. He admits he was bitter and angry towards the end of their marriage. Sometimes a sucky marriage does that to a person. He suggested counseling for them, she refused and ran to the arms of his best friend instead. Oh, excuse me, they didn't hook up until "a year after their divorce" (lie). My husband was warned there was something going on between them by multiple people so he started preparing to leave a good two years before she said she "needed her space." After he moved out, he went to counseling on his own to figure out what he did to contribute to the failings of his marriage. She just continues to blame him and him only.

So she weaves this fabulous tale in which she is made to look like the poor woman who "survived a bad marriage." Surely her kids caught wind of that. His eldest is just like BM through and through: sticky sweet on the outside, bitter and tart in the middle. (in other words, keep your guard up around her).

For Father's Day she got her dad a really pathetic card that actually hurt his feelings. I saw the look on his face when he read it. He turned instantly kind of dark. At home, he threw it away, shaking his head saying, "if this is all she thinks of me......"

Of course there is more there. I can't elaborate it all. Don't attack me, please. (I have seen attacks here, not pretty)

HE has started to disengage from his own kids. I wanted to text his eldest to see how the house closing is going but he asked me to please not do that. She hasn't come to HIM for help with moving, etc. and he's not going to "beg to help her." She won't update HIM, just BM, he doesn't want to beg for info or beg for communication or beg for a relationship with her. He has been an active dad. It's not for lack of trying. But they talk/text BM everyday, dad gets nothing unless he reaches. He's tired of reaching.

When we were at his SD's house a couple months back, the 6 year old was showing off a toy she loved that we gave her. She was saying, "Papa B" (BM's man, not even married) gave this to me!! My H kinda laughed and said, "No, sweetie, we gave that to you." The granddaughter got angry and said, "NO! Papa B did!!" My H dropped it, smiled and said, "well it's a great toy...."

No need to argue with a 6 year old.... it just felt weird. It hurt my H on some level.

Ever since then I feel him disengaging more and more with his kids.

I would love a relationship with them and with the grand kids, but yeah, I can't just overstep him. I am on HIS team and I make sure he knows that. I respect his wishes. We will get the grand kids for one weekend in August, hoping to make that a tradition. One quality weekend a summer is something at least.

But yeah, there have been comments by his eldest that I know she is saying to hurt her dad and times like those I want to slap her silly.

I just sit back and enjoy my marriage with my Husband. The rest of the world can explode for all I care. But yeah, sometimes it gets to a person.

Isn't it great how family is usually the first to hurt you? Even your own kids? That's why God made friends. We have our own little life, own little circle and we are happy with that. As long as we have absolutely ZERO (NO) expectations with his kids, we are good.

(cringing, preparing for the attack........)