Warning: Long post, but I am looking for advice. I have been with DH for over 7 years now. I thought that being a stepmom would be a walk in the park.  However, I quickly realized that is more like a terrible nightmare. My SD lives with her BM in a different state, so we only have my SD for 2 months over the summer each year. However, my SD is about to be 10 and has become very vocal about how she wants to come live with us. Her BM is exhausted because she has a special needs child who is 3 now and requires a lot of attention.