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Struggling not to punch him in head.

jmh302's picture

My kids father has court tomorrow for his daughter. Its custody court so i am sure right after he will get hit with the cs hearing.

He has always been very idk to me uncaring about getting anything on paper with bm about custody. I have been arguing the need for years. After each change of events, sd living with us fulltime then back to bms, its always well ill wait until i see what happens.

I knoe i know..i shouldnt care more then him. But what happens in there WILL effect me.

For weeks i have been telling him and suggesting sites for him to research what he can and should ask for in the co.

I asked him last night if he had and he said no because thats the point of mediation is to figure it out there. He said he would be the only one with a list of things and didnt want to do that.

Riggghhht. Seems like a great plan.

I want to smack him for being so stupid..but it just shows me how he will be in court when we go because if i am honest he is not an active participant in basically anything.

It drives me crazy. The blank looks, the i dont knows, not really doing much of anything.

Everything he claimed after being arrested, has proven to be nothing. AA stopped soon as he was allowed to sleep here. No counciling, no vasectomy. If anything he is on his phone more and even more checked out when i think he should be more engaged with his kids.

Hell he has barely even called sd since September when everything has happened..so i guess he assumes since he is physically here thats enough for the others.

I just really cannot tell what his priorities are ever. He is supposed to see his daughter today and see bm and talk about what SHE is wanting in court.

I asked 2 days ago for a time when that would be happening and a time for when he expects to be back...nothing. asked this morning and he said it was too early to text so after he ate.. its not almost 10. Still nothing.

This is the kind of shit i asked him to make sure he included in the co..that pickup drop off times would be set so the entire exchange days are not up in the air...but thats important to me not him.

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jmh302's picture

I felt bad for him once he said he had a problem and wanted help and a chance to get shit straight.

I needed to be able to say to myself that i did try to support him...so if it helped awesome andif it didnt i wont feel like i left someone who was trying to better themselves.

Monchichi's picture

Out of curiosity, didn't you leave this man after he left your twins to go get high or drunk or both? Are you still together? As in living in the same house?

jmh302's picture

I did leave him but he started aa immediately and talked a good scheme of what he was going to do in his life to help himself. He has been sleeping here on occasion because i agreed to try to work things out because he stated he had a problem that he was going to seek help for. I agreed to support him in that and attend couciling with him to try to figure things out.
Eta-I would not allow him to bring his daughter here for overnights while he is not allowed legally to live here because i do not want to be responsible for her on top of my own. Her mother is pushing for overnights to restart.

He has to finish parenting classes before probation will allow him to fully live here. On the weekends he is off he sleeps here.

I seriously doubt she is concerned for him drinking with sd around..the weekend he went to jail she asked if he would be picking her up. She knows i am here but no not doing that.

I am an idiot for thinking the wanting help thing was genuine. He is never alone with the kids. I am here or a sitter. I have set things up like that because i do not trust him enough for that and because he legally cannot.

I trusted him to get help..that has stopped. Ive never dealt with an alcoholic partner before. Ive been reading about it and i just think now he doesn't think he has a problem. I have known alcoholics, my mom is one but their drinking never directly affected me so this is new to me in that way.

I gave him a shot to get help and its not happening.

jmh302's picture

I am protecting them. They are NEVER ALONE with him. His drinking isnt violent. He goes to sleep and when he was alone with them and got drunk he left. He is not agressive at all. He is more of a crying type of guy. He is extremely passive.

I am with the kids supervising whenever he is here. Its basically like supervised visitation at this point.

He is allowed vistation at my chosing right now. He is only legally not allowed to be alone with them and cannot stay here every night. Which he does not. On weekends, i am here 247. I am not at work.