Oh boy....
Haven't posted in a while because things have been fairly decent of late, mostly because SD15 has been banned from our home since May. DH & I have taken her out to lunch or out to dinner a few times, mostly because DH wants to keep trying to keep lines of communication open and he REALLY wants me to be a part of that.
Tonight we are taking her to dinner and we haven't seen her in over a week, so I'm not looking forward to having to even be around her. But...it is what it is.
Here's what my oh boy....is all about. SD15 is on the flag team of the marching band at her high school. Football games are, of course, on Friday nights. I asked DH today what his plan was for attending (or not attending) these games to watch her perform on the flag team. He plans to go to all the home games, but none of the away games. Okay, fine.
THEN I asked him about his 84-yo mother, who lives with us in an in-law suite in our basement (she has her own apartment). This woman can barely get around because she never puts any effort into trying to stay mobile. She sits on her ass all day long watching reruns of Bonanza, The Waltons, Gunsmoke and just about anything on the Lifetime Movie Network. OR she's talking on the phone to her cronies all day long.
I'm wondering how he's going to get her up into those bleachers at the football field. THIS should be interesting.
I've decided that I'm going to skip the first few of these home games, mostly because I think he needs to deal with the train wreck of getting his mother there & back home all by himself. I don't need to be enabling all this.
My MIL is already in the early stages of dementia, doesn't get around well at all, SHOULD have her drivers license taken from her (because she seriously does not need to be on the roads), and pretty soon we will need to have a serious talk about either getting care in for her daily or sending her to an assisted living facility.
Sheesh. If it's not the skids, it's the MIL.
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DH & I have that conversation
DH & I have that conversation regularly. He's done a very good job of growing balls when it comes to BM & his daughters. But it's really difficult for him to deal with his mother. She is the kind of old woman who, when he DOES put his foot down about something, she gets all pissy & pouts for days on end. And then....she's just magically over whatever was the issue to begin with. Their dynamic is about as eff'd up as it gets. And I don't see it changing unless I get involved.
I've tried to stay fairly disengaged with respect to my MIL, because she is far too manipulative and plays way too many games. I'm just not going to deal with that shit....not from skids, not from MIL. It's not my mother, it's his. She lives with us and DH ends up having to be like Schneider (the building super) on One Day at a Time (anybody remember that tv show?). It's exhausting.