Another Mother’s Day with SO kids

I am feeling so many emotions right now. Dad and angry mostly. I've never had a Mother's Day where I could pamper myself. I have to have my BS court ordered on Mother's Day which is fine. I try to make that a special day between us but the dynamics between my ex and I and my so. Usually to my belief make him a little s***to me due to all of the brainwashing and s****talking about me from his father. Oh well I try my best to yeah my son who I have full time except the weekends how great it is to bond with mom..... now that I've been in this relationship with my SO my Mother's Day have sucked even more.

it isn't about me. It is about his mother and celebrating her. I bitched him out saying we should celebrate Mother's and Father's Day with each other since we have involved each other's kids so much in our lives and we should show our appreciation on that day....

BM to the three skids never gives a shit and makes excuses about having plans with her mother on Mother's Day so we end up having the kids. I said this time what if I wanted to be pampered and have this day to myself? With my son? But no... I have to show up to a family BBQ and make it all about your three kids and your mother.... it is bad enough that my ex won't let me pick him up the night before so I can make morning breakfast with my son.... I'm just so irritated. My skid SS6 found a tick on his inner thigh at his .... apparently he told her and she said to get it off himself. So he did. Today my SO felt like the head was still in his leg and asked me what to do.... (normally I would want to help BUT I'm tired being these kids mommy and having no appreciation for it) so I said well normally you call the doctor and explain if you cannot fully get the tick out and see if they would like to examine... or if you don't want to do that call his mom... called BM... BM acres as if she didn't know.... SS6 said I told you mommy you just didn't care! You never care! So I pulled it out myself..... BM just kinda blew it off like nope bud you never told me like he was lying.

I cared for the bit and the big giant callus on the side of his thumb that he literally sucks on and told him not to suck on the wart anymore that it isn't good and could spread to other places on the body..... then they went to go run errends and I can finally have some time to myself today.

How do you ladies handle BM who basically neglect their children??? My SO looks to me and wants me to care for them.... normally I would but the lack of appreciation and attitude just makes me want to focus on my own child. These children are ungrateful and I do not want to spend my time, money and effort on them. It is unfortunate that their parents do not do it but I shouldn't be responsible.

second question... what do you ladies think the noncustodial parent should have at their home for their children who visit?

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Huh

You didn't remove the tick because their mom never appreciates what you do? Does your dh?

Does your kid live with you?

I thought she said she didn't

I thought she said she didn't "want to" do it because of feeling under appreciated, but she still provided information to her DH.

tbh I would have trouble removing it for my SS too but for slightly different reasons...one that he's a almost teen now, secondly if my DH can handle it, why should I volunteer? (On top of that I'm not confident enough to say I know how to deal with the tick issue haha)

Right! I ended up doing it

Right! I ended up doing it because naturally I am a nurturing person. I'm just tired of having to do it all of the time and wonder how the skids would know anything if it wasn't for me. BM doesn't care acts like she doesn't know whan the heck a tick got on him and SO asks me like he doesn't have three children and has never dealt with a tick before haha. Mind you SS came over Friday night in the same outfit he had on Wednesday night. I literally wanted to text her and say idc what your beliefs are about the national pandemic but now you are making it hard for me to keep my full time family safe because you are too lazy to bathe your kids.... the two oldest girls say he took a shower but he is responsible for putting on his own clothes.... okay good start on the independence buttttttt how come no one told him to change after he put dirty clothes on.... and clothes that are two small the pants were very small he looked ready for a flood. Poor thing Luckily for him I gave him all my son's jeans when he grew out of them.... Whew.... it's tough

I find it hard to hear that

I find it hard to hear that any mother would missed that their own kid was wearing same clothing few days in a row or not showering. Would not be so surprised if that's dads who missed all these...no offense to any gents, but my own DH could miss the fact my SS not wearing underwear or pick up dirty clothes from the hamper lol (issues have since been fixed lol

does Your SS stay with his mom most of the time ?

Yes says he hates it there

Yes says he hates it there and never wants to go. We also just found out she is now a lesbian.... sooooo she stays in her room most of the time with her new roommates in housing..... so I don't blame him.

Sorry you have to deal with

Sorry you have to deal with this.
i know how under appreciated you must feel, because we are on the same boat.
I don't know how your DH justify he not parenting up but expect you to take care of his kids? Seriously if the bio parents don't care, why should stepparents?

Is asking your DH to parent his own offsprings an option for you?

On an off topic note---I also don't like the Mother's Day with SS. But there's no other option for me really because BM never chooses to see her son on any Mother's Day. (Shrug)

I have told SO in a nice way

I have told SO in a nice way but also a blunt way. Just explaining he should really provide these things and I don't mind sharing my supplies for my child but it's been quite sometime and I still haven't seen him buy medicines, bandaids, body wash just the essentials every parent should have in the house for children. At least ask BM to send thing over for them. Everything he has ever bought the skids he lets them take it home..... I tell him it is his own fault the skids don't have their own things here. Not that he provides a lot for them.

Maybe the way to get him to

Maybe the way to get him to pay his share is to get a joint account? What is he going to do if he doesn't have you ?

no idea

The tick was already removed

The tick was already removed by my SS at BM's house. SO thought he head was still stuck in his leg so I looked at it. Rubbed alcohol on the spot and put a bandaid over it because there was nothing else to pull out. Yes my son lives with me. The children don't appreciate anything. They never say please and thank you, never clean up after themselves and when we are done playing board games or outdoor games they do not help me clean after I ask them to.