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How do you respond?

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Submitted by KidlessSM86 on Sun, 03/16/2014 - 4:54pm

When you're out in public and a stranger refers to you as "mom", how do you respond?
Example: I took SD9 to Petsmart to look at the animals, and she wanted to hold one of the kittens. The man that was there said "is that okay with you, mom?"
It's so awkward for me. I don't want to say "oh, she's not my kid" or "no, I'm just her stepmom", cause it feels like I'm trying to tell a stranger my life story. But SD makes comments about it afterward like "people always think you're my real mom, but you're not."

I Disengaged!

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Submitted by KidlessSM86 on Thu, 02/13/2014 - 7:46pm

I finally decided to put my sanity first and disengaged. I no longer tuck them in at night, help with homework, and the only time I talk to them in when they ask me a question, which they now mostly ask their dad. They don't seem upset about it, and the silence has been glorious! I finally listened to all the advice on this site about the kids having two capable parents. If those two capable parents choose not to parent, it's not my problem! And if it does become my problem, I will ensure that DH corrects the problem.

Manipulation

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Submitted by KidlessSM86 on Sat, 01/25/2014 - 9:02am

I learned what manipulation was as a child because my mom was very manipulative. I thought I could always see through it. Now, I'm not so sure.
I think SD has manipulation in her genes. I've noticed that when SS talks about BM, it's just talk. He'll tell me about what he has at BM's or what he does there, etc. I never like hearing about it, but with him it's just talk. With SD on the other hand, I swear she'll say things just to irk me. For example, Wednesday she seemed to be in a really good mood. I was feeling friendly so I thought I'd make conversation.

Eavesdropping Children Question

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Submitted by KidlessSM86 on Thu, 01/16/2014 - 2:53pm

So I've noticed this problem with how SD9 perceives things. If adults have a conversation within earshot of her, she listens intently to what's said, and then later comes to the conclusion that they are her own thoughts. There are things that I've talked to DH about, and later SD will have a conversation with me about what was talked about like she was part of the conversation.

The Cause of my Anxiety is BM

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Submitted by KidlessSM86 on Mon, 12/16/2013 - 8:49am

When the kids talk about her, when we go pick up the kids after their EOWE visit with her, when DH says she's emailed him, and especially when DH gets a text and I automatically assume it's her... My heart palpitates and I start to dwell on the fact that I have this thing in my life that I have no control over. I don't like feeling like I just have to put up with it.
Now I've read on the forums that drama with skids doesn't end once they move out, but does drama with the BM end??