Hi everyone. I was so excited to find this site. I've been looking for a site that maybe I could find some solid advice from others who know what I am going through. Let me start by saying, I am not yet a step mom. I have been dating my boyfriend for two and half years now. This past July we moved in together. He has full custody of his two sons, one of which is 15 the other is 14. He also has an 8 year old daughter, which he gets EVERY weekend. I love his kids. I also have three kids. But my kids moved out of state with their dad. My ex and I get along very well but when he moved we gave our kids a choice of what they wanted to do. And I respect their decision. I get them every summer. So it works out for all of us. But back to the problem at hand. Like I said we have his two boys all the time. They live with us. Over the past year his oldest son has gotten himself into trouble so he is on probation, his younger son was what he thought was the good kid, but over the past month I have found him smoking twice. I don't want to be the tattle tail girlfriend but at the same time I don't want to see his kids get into trouble. So I have told their dad, the problem with the situation is that their dad works out of town all week, so I have to tell him then he tries to handle it over the weekend. But he doesn't really know what to do. He just kind of lets it go. Now as far as his ex is concerned she never comes and gets the boys or spends any time with them, I take them to school, pick them up cook for them and take the oldest to his probation meetings. But when it comes to his daughter, the ex doesn't want me to do anything with her. His daughter who absolutely loves me, or at least she tells her grandma that she does, is not aloud to say my name when she is at home. She is also afraid to call my phone from home because she doesn't want her mom or her mom's boyfriend to get my number. I feel awful for his daughter because of the situation that it puts her in. But when I try to get my boyfriend to say something to his ex, he just ignores my request. I have offered to take his daughter home on my way to work on Sundays to save his ex a drive all the way across town, but he won't ask her. He says he doesn't want to argue with her. But I am beginning to think its something else. He acts like he is afraid to hurt her feelings, but what about mine. I go out of my way to provide a stable environment for his children but yet he wont mention my name to his ex either. I work with his mom and he texted his ex one day and told her that he would bring his daughter home because he was going to visit his mom at work. Not my mom and my girlfriend, but just his mom. I am so frustrated and confused on how to address the feelings that I am having. If I am in the wrong please let me know, or if anyone knows of anyway that I can bring it up without being overbearing or obsessive, I would appreciate it. Thank you.