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The puzzle starts coming together--should I be happy or run?

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I've been putting the pieces together about my dh and his ew. I've been posting about how she still comes around and lets herself in and walks the dog they bought while married...and the list goes on. I've felt disrespected and completely enraged. DH thinks it's no big deal, things will change as we get more settled together, blah blah blah.
Well, I've felt that this woman is some sort of freak who cheated and left, but now wants him back or control over him or something...in a nutshell, she isn't done controlling him.

Followup to the blowup...Do we ever get to be in the same loop as the EW?

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So we tried to settle things the other day. I stayed over and we talked and things settled down...although he was still salty with me which I thought wasn't fair. It was his bad, not mine but he was way crabby with me. So I said, want me to go home?

The biggest explosion ever...could this be the end? I sooo need to vent (sorry it's long)

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Saturday was ss's birthday. I wasn't told about it until just a couple of days before and I had already arranged to go see my parents upstate. But I said I'd go see them, and bring back a cake with his favorite hockey guy on it. I was really happy to do it. I wasn't sure ss would care, since they get so much stuff all the time, but he really was delighted to get the cake and all his friends were jealous. It was a wonderful night with everyone over...it was probably the best night we'd ever had. And then the next morning came...

Understanding the DH and coping with his EW...can it be done?

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I'm going to try a new thing with my dh. I'm going to try to not get angry or cold with him. I'm very, very tired of his ew being in our lives...she's more in our lives than her own...which would be kinda sad except that she's not involving herself with us to feel better or because she misses dh, it's because she CAN and she likes the CONTROL.

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