As sad as this sounds I really do hate being a step mother. Im guessing one of the primary reasons is because her BM did such a poor job at raising her. She also lied to her about her dad and I making her think we didnt care about her or try to do things for her.

I guess I never anticipated her having to come live with us on a permanent basis ever again. We tried that a couple years ago when her mother decided she didnt want her the first time. Unfortunately, my husband was in the Marine Corps and getting ready to deploy. I tried to express to him my feelings and concerns but obviously he had more important things to worry about. So sure enough only a few weeks after he had left. My step daughter and I got into it because I told her "no" she couldnt do something. She nagged and nagged until I finally exploded. I smacked her and she attacked me like a grown woman. The story ended with her mother having her go back home.

For a year and a half we didnt even see her, the summer following the incident when my husband returned home. Her mother refused to let her come. Saying it was because she didnt want her around me. To be honest with you it was the best summer of my life.

Now he BM has been remarried and for the past year or so ever since my step daughter hit the teen years her mother and her would fight constantly. Her BM had another baby almost a year ago. During their last fight my step daughter made a threat towards the new baby and her mother immediately had her on a plane to our house. She even took her out of school a month early.

Her BM and I dont get along at all. She has been taught to not like me. Now she is living in our house and has been an only child most of her life and doesnt even know how to be part of a family. She wants to just have total control. If it doesnt go her way she causes a scene or gets physical with the other children. She lies. She goes through our personal things when we are not here. She basically just cant be trusted.

My husband and I have been fighting almost constantly over the issues. We started going to counseling for a little while and then we had to move and have been busy with the start of a new school year and never went back. He hasnt mentioned it so I assume he thinks everything is going just fine. Everytime I have a concern with my step daughters behavior. All he says is "I will handle it"

Im sure things would be very different if she had been in our lives a lot more but with my husband being in the military and deploying a lot over the past 3 years made it almost impossible. But now we just inherited a 14 year old brat and I dont know what to do at all!!!

Honestly I pray everyday that she will go back to live with her mom but as of yesterday her mother told my husband that she does not want her back, she too says she cant trust her around the new baby!!! So basically she chose her new husband and new baby over her daughter she had raised for 14 years!!!

I am so angry and confused...there have to be some answeres out there somewhere!!!!