I still cant figure it out. My step daughter is nothing like my biological children except for my 5 year old who still whines and cries if he cant have something he wants. But my older children understand the word "no". Although they may not like it they rarely will argue. They might say please please...but they dont sass me or talk crap to me.

Last night my step daughter got in trouble. I am already upset because my husband just recently started working a night job which leaves me as the parent in charge. The minute I told her she was in trouble. She starts looking for the phone to call her mom. I said "no". Her mother lives on the east coast (3 hour time difference). I told her it was too late. She gets mad and starts following me around the house. Talking back telling me thats not fair Im not letting her talk to her mom etc etc. I said "Please just go to your room you can call your mom in the morning". That wasnt good enough. She follows me to my room. I asked her to get out she says "NO". So now I have to start yelling and getting upset. She yells back. She went in my doorway. I walked over to shut the door and she prevented me from doing so. So then it turns into a physical thing. I unfortunately am only 5-1 (117 lbs). My step daughter is 5-3 and 140 pounds. She is muscular and is actually stronger than me if it were to come to a physical fight. Which it did a year and a half ago.

She use to fight with her BM also. She hit her and bit her. That is one of the primary reasons her mother sent her to come live with her dad because she couldnt handle her any more either. So it seems the only one who is strong enough when she throws her little tantrums is her dad. But obviously he cant be here every second.

I just dont know how many times I can do this. I get phyically upset. My heart was beating out of my chest my hands were shaking. I cannot stand to get that upset. It shouldnt be this way.

So she finally called her mom and then lied to her about why she got in trouble. She is crying hysterically on the phone to her BM like I had just beat her. Then of course her BM wants to talk to me!!! OMG....it is absolutely ridiculous. I should not have to defend myself. I didnt do anything wrong. I never laid a hand on the child.

She is just so full of drama and wanting it to be a part of our lives. She is only 14....people keep telling me to hang in there that it will get better. But I am having a very hard time believing that. I think it will only get worse as she gets older.

If any of you have teenage step children and have any words of advise I would really appreciate it!!!!