IT DOESNT SEEM TO BE GETTING ANY BETTER!!!!
It has been almost 6 months since my step daughter came to live with us. Things dont seem to be improving. This child came from a home where she was left alone alot and was able to pretty much do whatever she wanted....whenever she wanted.
Now she comes here to rules, and structure, and schedules. Obviously things arent going well. All I keep hearing is "Well my mom let me do it" Do I give a shit what your mom did or didnt do!!! NO!!!!! This is MY house and MY rules!!!
She seems fine but only if she is getting her way or doing something she enjoys otherwise life is pretty miserable around our house. She will just nag and nag and nag until you want to just lose control.
Last night she hit my younger son again (he is 5) she is 14. She is always do things to him when they are alone. My husband and I were just in the other room but heard him start crying out of nowhere. When she was asked what happened she said. He fell off the bed and hit his head. My almost 6 year old had a different story. So when my husband started yelling at her and punishing her she just starts crying and getting hysterical saying I didnt do anything!!! Why am I in trouble!!!
I said something to her and as I was walking away she says and I quote "Oh my God, you are on crack" My husband dug into her again adding more time to her punishment for mouthing off to me. This incident went on for almost 3 hours. She refused to go to bed or stop yelling or crying.
Her behavior is something I am not use to nor do I know how to deal with it and my husband too is out of ideas. If any of you read this and have any ideas as to what could possibly be going on with this child I am open to any and all suggestions. We are seeking professional help we just have to wait for the approval from our insurance company.
I have 4 children of my own. And I am not saying the never misbehave. But they know what NO means and they accept it and move on. They dont argue with me or talk shit to me. I sometimes feel like I am spinning out of control with my emotions.
Im really at a loss right now.....
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What are the current
What are the current consequences for her behavior? I do have to say that the positive side of this is that your DH is on the same page with you and doesn't turn a blind eye to her bad behavior or her disrespect for you.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Unfortunately, I know
Unfortunately, I know nothing about teenage girls. Is that behavior normal? I would be pulling my hair out!!! She seems a little immature for her age, and has no business hitting a 5 year old....or anybody, for that matter.
Sounds like your discipline strategy is not working...time to find something else. I don't know what's appropriate for a teenager, but I would think that taking everything from her that she deems a necessity would be a great start. No tv, no cell phone, etc. She can scream all she wants, she'll stop when she realizes no one is listening to her or cares. Hell, she may even lose her voice!
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost
Teenage girls SUCK! I swear
Teenage girls SUCK! I swear they do! OF course, my SD17 is mentally ill, so my view is a bit off, but some of my friends have "normal" teenage girls and I hear NOTHING but horror stories. The best thing I can suggest is counseling, you said you were waiting on that, so hopefully that will help! Sounds like she was enjoying her freedom and is having a very hard time adjusting.
Suggestion for creative
Suggestion for creative discipline... Instead of grounding her, take away her conditioner and hair brush. Make her go to school with raggy hair for three weeks. Hide your brushes and conditioner so she can't just take yours. Or take away her clothes and give her 20.00 for clothes at the thrift store. Make sure she only gets two outfits and that's what she is to wear for three weeks. Shell have to wash those two outfits in order to have something to wear.
I have a 14 year old that i
I have a 14 year old that i don't argue or fuss with. I just take things away....... and add chores.
Taking the cell phone and house phone, tv, computer, free time etc works wonders....
Then i add chores... like wiping down baseboards, washing all of the dishes in the house - clean or not - cleaning all of the bathrooms and moping the floors, picking weeds out of the flower beds and trash out of the yard.... and the punishment depends on the deed.
If she were to continually do crazy stuff it gets longer and harder.....
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
Sorry to tell you this but
Sorry to tell you this but it could take a year or so for her to settle in and understand how the family works.
Right now she is still adjusting. Stick with it, she will be fine. It will take a long time for her to get what BM did out of her head.