As a 3 year widow of a man with 2 adopted adult children and 7 grandchildren, I can tell you first hand, get your affairs in order and do it now. Don't procrastinate if you love your spouse. It is very important to talk about. Look at it as something you will update periodically as well and don't let it go by too long before you do. What happened to us and after my husband died is not a pretty picture. Six years after we were married we both updated our wills and we never got around to changing them until my husband was sick and in the hospital.