From what I have read here from sm that have been there done that the guilt parenting and princess complex doesn't stop unless the sd has some sort of foundation of morals and self awareness. What if you can tell right away that this kid isn't going to change because they are happy with being sub par? I don't have the bm in the sense that most others here do. Instead she is DH's half sister who tries to parent her daughter over the phone and through gifts in the mail. I have a mil that doesn't acknowledge me or my children because sd fills her ears with poison all the while filling dh ears with poison about grandma. I really wish I knew then what I know now because the stress of raising my five children without contact from their own bd is more than enough. Trying to make sure that my sons grow up to be strong christian men that can be heads of the household for their own families. Trying to make sure that my daughters don't rely on other people's view of them for their own self worth. It is hard enough being a divorced mother of five with only some college education but throwing sm into the mix has made life unbearable. This girl undermines me my dh undermines me my teenage children try to undermine me. I know it makes me sound like I am being paranoid but I have had enough of the experiences to make me stronger and just want to be able to enjoy life without always feeling like the bottom is going to drop out any minute. I didn't remarry to feel like second to everything and as long as dh feels like he has to make up for something sd missed out on I will always be second with my own children not even placing anywhere in this race. That is what it feels like. Who is going to get their side of the story to dh first? And since me and my children don't even know that we are competing with sd our side is never heard. How can I raise my children to be the good guy when it seems like the good guy always loses at least in our house.