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BM called our attorney for advice! LOL

MountainMom's picture

As mentioned in previous blog, we are planning on moving out of state. Ss14 told his mom he wants to go with DH. At first she agreed, but now that it's her week, she is backtracking and giving ss hell for his decision. He called upset that she keeps telling him he can't go. I understand the turmoil she is going through, but still.

Anyways dh called her to try and talk it through and she said she had a call into someone and that she would have more answers for him later. Ring ring, our attorney calls and says bm called their office and tried to schedule an appointment to file (for what I have no idea). At first, they didn't realize who she was because of the name change, so they scheduled the interview. Then they cross referenced the names and realized it was a conflict of interest. So instead of her filing, we did. Dh thinks the good lord was looking out for us. I think BM is just not too bright. We have had the same attorney for ten years.

For those following we offered: 8 weeks at summer, Thanksgiving and spring breaks, one week at Christmas alternating Christmases, and liberal visitation if she wants to come up and see him. Also, he scheduled a mediation appointment for in a few weeks with ss. Praying it works out for everyone. 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Beware, it's not a slam dunk that the court will allow him to move away with you - he may get some say, but they may not like the idea that his mother is losing time with him due to your choice to move away (unless the move is mandated by DH's job or something of the sort).

MountainMom's picture

It's a job move. We already spoke the mediator. In california the age is 14 for a kid to speak to a mediator and decide on who they want to be with more. The mediator said that if his reasons are valid that they will grant the wishes of the child. He has pretty valid reasons. Meaning he doesn't just want to move with dh because dh is more fun. 

tog redux's picture

Do you think he will hold up under BM's pressure? My SS wanted to live with us at 14, too, and then ended up telling the judge that we tried to alienate him from BM, after she bribed and guilted him.

MountainMom's picture

Yea I think he will hold up against her. He hates living with her now but we make him go. She will try but if he knows he can get away from her then he will say what he wants.

MountainMom's picture

He is a good kid. She has pas'd him a lot over the years, but when it comes to talking about his feelings to the mediators, he always tells the truth.

simifan's picture

Your SS should be aware his decision, especially if BM is resistant, will have life long consequences. She may hold this over him forever. 

bananaseedo's picture

What is your current arrangement? I totally get it's for his job and may have no choice-but either way, not the best for the kid to lose sigjnificant time with either parent during teenage years.  They do survive though.  But what they go through may not be pretty.  You guys are being generous with visitation time so that's a plus.

Is she currently receiving CS?  DO you think that may be where she puts her foot down?  Do they re-calculate? Because the time you offered would be probably more then a NCP typically gets -so based on their salaries he may still have to pay.  And more then likely will have to pay transportation since he is the one moving. 

MountainMom's picture

We have 50/50, or week to week. We pick up ss14 tomorrow dh visit so we will see if he still wants to go after being hammered by her all week. If not, I totally understand. It is what it is.