ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I feel like the devil incarnate is lurking all over my house with the picture!
SS6 Who we were granted custody of if June found a picture of himself, hubby, BM, his brother from when he was a baby. When he found the picture he brought it down and proceeded to tell me with grandiose hand gestures and fingers waving.. NO NO NO! YOU DO NOT COME TO MOMMY'S HOUSE, DADDY..YES.. ME..YESS.. YOU.. NO..NO..NO..! MOMMY SAYS NO!!.. Ok.. he's 6 and I know BM poisons his little mind with several toxic things, but I was PO'D at the fact that I'm doing BM's job..quite well I might add, and now every time I turn around that picture is being waved in my face with comments included.. Hubby thinks I'm totally overreacting and that of course even though we know BM is a pathetic individual, SS6 doesn't know that and just knows he misses his mother and doesn't live with her anymore.. Well that's all well and good, but the picture was on my dresser last night and I couldn't sleep, it's like I could feel the "devil" lurking in my bedroom.. BM is such a negative hateful individual and I felt negative energy in the house I swear I did.. I know I'm overreacting.. but should I really just shrug it off? I'm obviously not going to take a picture of SS6 mother away from him.. but am I wrong for wanting to stick it in the shredder or light it on fire..
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If it was in my house, it
If it was in my house, it would magically dissapear }:) No way in hell I would have a picture of that woman in my house.
Now someone will for sure come here and pope me about how the kid should have pic of his mother yadda yadda... already see it comming..
I don't know how it ended up
I don't know how it ended up on the dresser, I think DH but it up there last night.. He keeps seeing it as a child missing his mother and if he wants a picture of her it's fine.
I see it like a TOTAL INVASION of my home, I don't like that b*tch pulling into my driveway, let alone lurking her hateful face around every room of my house!
Oh I know.. the husband already gave me a rash about me getting pissed about it.. I wanted to say a lot of other things... but didn't.. The picture will disappear, but I'm pretty sure hubby will know it was me!
Just give the kid some messy
Just give the kid some messy food, and the picture in his other hand and watch it being ruined }:)
I don't know how i would react if my bf made a statement of having her picture in our home. I am lucky he actually took good care not to take anything from his prevous life into our home.
SHARPYS WORK PERFECTLY.. and
SHARPYS WORK PERFECTLY.. and he's always trying to color on everything.. Black Sharpy it is!
I think I would put it in a
I think I would put it in a frame and place it in the childs bedroom. He is young, and he does miss his BM, no matter what an idiot she is. I wouldnt want it all over my house either and definitely not in my bedroom, but I don't agree with taking it away from him. I can see that you strongly dislike her, on that note is it possible that its so disturbing because its a 'family' photo from DH previous marriage? Maybe if someone could locate a pic of just SS with his BM might make it a little easier.
I thought of that.. and they
I thought of that.. and they were never married. Their relationship was very chaotic for DH..he actually became very sick as a result of the stress and had a heartattack at the end. I also have a good reason to dislike a person who has neglected her son to the point of being learning disabled, and refused to get him help over and over again. even now they're suspecting possible shaken baby syndrome, he goes to the neurologist in 2 weeks.
I agree. But I think I'd make
I agree.
But I think I'd make it a big deal. Take SS out on a special shopping trip, have him pick out the frame. Then have SS choose the spot in his bedroom to hang it on the wall.
I think this approach will make everyone happy:
-You'll have the picture out of your sight.
-Your DH will think it's awesome that your helping SS.
-SS will be proud that he got to pick out the frame and help hang the picture.
Just my 2 cent.
~BettyRay
Well, I guess my situation is
Well, I guess my situation is different in that BM and DH had more of a casual open relationship dating thing going on and SS was a BIG oops (as in BM didn't know who the daddy was . . . ) so I feel bad for the kid. My brother and I were planned but all three of my younger siblings were "accidents" and knew it so watching them grow up and struggle with not feeling wanted was rough. So I am the one that is saving pictures of BM and DH together so SS will have something tangible to help him with his sense of self later.
Does that make sense?
That being said - if SS starts waving BM pictures around and telling me to go away then my attitude will change and the pictures would have to get put up until he is older. His sense of self is important, but so is respecting my place in his life.
I think the child should be
I think the child should be allowed to have a picture of his mom.but it needs to be confined to his room,you don't need that kind of evil leaking all over your house like that.
I agree with Asher. I think
I agree with Asher. I think he should be allowed to keep the pic in his room. My SDs have pics of BM in their rooms.
Best comment of the day!
Best comment of the day! Thank you.. very insightful way to look at the entire picture. I appreciate your input
How about scanning the
How about scanning the picture and cropping out everyone but BM and him, maybe, if it works. Photoshop is a wonderful thing. Then frame that.
Does he see BM?? A new
Does he see BM?? A new picture of the two of them can be taken and put in his room. It is very disrespectful to the SM, and I realize it is not the child's fault, but it is still not a good feeling. The Dad should not be in the picture, period. It would be better for the child to not be thinking of himself, mom, and dad as the family unit, and a more recent pic of him and mom may be more comforting when he is missing her. JMO.
I would frame the picture for
I would frame the picture for him for Christmas. But get a 2 picture frame where you can fold it up.
Kids don't want to know that they were a mistake or an oops or anything. He is 6 and wants to know that he is normal or OK like everyone else his age.
So having a picture of people in his life (despite their loopiness) is his way of building his place in the world in his little head. This picture says to him "This day, my mommy and daddy and me were a family". Even if all his other memories are of different houses and craziness, this is the one moment he can hang on to.
Honestly, he will learn more and more how you make his life better despite his mothers crazy ways. I thought my ss just put up with me for his fathers sake. And it seems he actually likes me for being me which is very nice.
It is a picture. Frame it for him for Christmas.
Crayon, that's awesome.
Crayon, that's awesome. Thats brillant. He's 6 and would totally get overexcited and ruin the picture. Then he would ruin it more trying to "fix" it. I would love to watch that scene unfold. Priceless.