msc1120's Blog

UGH!!! Just found out

Just found out I'm gonna have to be married to my lying, cheating, stbxh until atleast the beginning of the year. I have all the divorce papers filled out ready to go, call the clerk of courts office to make sure I'm not forgetting anything and they tell me that filing for divorce because of adultery either requires a lawyer or 1 year seperation. My state requires 1 year separation for any grounds but I thought with it being adultery we could get this over quick and without attorneys. Cheating mofo doen't know this yet as I haven't spoken to him in almost 2 months.

Need some advice

You guys all know the drama with my stbxh the cheating, lying mofo. I haven't seen or spoken to him in over a month, as far as I know he's living happily with the whore. I still have some hurt to get through but I'm getting there little by little. Anyhow, the point of my post....BM called me last night. She wants me to sit down with her and SS13 (hel'll be 14 later this year) because apparently SS is having a bit of a hard time with everything that's been going on. I haven't seen SS since about a week before I left home.

O/T - Is it wrong?

So I was talking to my cousin Tues. night and she metioned that she ran into my stbxh and his whore. She then proceeds to tell me she didn't even speak to the whore and that she looks like a Pekingese (sp?) smushed in face and all. Is it wrong that I can't help but feel better that this chick is ugly? I mean I'm no supermodel by and stretch of the means but atleast I look better than her. It makes it easier that stbxh "downgraded".

Sold My Wedding Rings

Well it hurt like hell but I sold mine and stbxh's wedding rings today. I had to have a little crying melt down at my desk over these rings. I know there is no chance of us reconsiling but if for some reason we ever did those are now tainted. Each step I take through this whole divorce process sucks big time but I know there is some reason for all of this and someday (just not today lol) I'll be stonger.

Just so weary....

I'm just so weary and tired of all this mess with the stbxh. Nothing really bad has happened except him hounding me about when I'm going to file divorce papers so I told him if he's in such an effing hurry to do it hisself. I'm just so tired of crying and hurting all the time. I'm so tired of getting a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I think about him. I'm tired of loosing my breath every time I look at my hand and don't see my wedding rings there. I just want all this to stop hurting. He's not worth it, he's treated me like crap and has his little whore gf.

Need Strength Again...

Tomorrow I will be going to my house for the first time in about 3 weeks to start moving the rest of my stuff out and anything else I dang well please (stbxh has lost his mind if he thinks I'm just going to let him have everything) and it's gonna suck. It's going to be so hard for me to go there and pack up my life from the only man I ever really loved and for some stupid reason still love. I keep realizing more and more that who he is now is not the person I fell in love with and married. I miss the old him, the him that would never have cheated and left me for another woman.

Divorce Papers :(

Well it really sucked doing it but I printed off all the paperwork and instructions I need to file for divorce. We can do it all ourselves without getting lawyers involved (hopefully). This all still really bites but I know this is happening for a reason, don't know what that reason is yet. I just holding my head up, taking this all one day at a time doing the best I can.

Proud of myself

I'm proud of myself. I didn't break down at all (even after I left the lawyer's office) and I didn't raise my voice or loose my temper at all. I'm ok with how it all turned out we are splitting the bankruptcy payments 50/50. I wanted him to have to pay the whole thing but the lawyer said since its a federal thing we would both have to re-do the whole process which would cost a ton more $$$. Stbxh has to refinance the house in his name only. I'm going to give him a (very short) time frame to do this and if he doesn't the house will go up for sale.

Need some strength...

Today is the big day, stbxh and I meet with the bankruptcy lawyer at 2:00. This will be the first time I've seen him since we seperated. I need some good vibes and some strength to get me through this. I was talking to my mom last night about all this because I had a melt down.

O/T Need Opinions

I'm pretty sure I know what everyone's response to this will be but I just wanted to ask anyway. Do you guys think I should make stbxh be the one to file for divorce? He's the one who really wants this. So far I'm the only one who's had to deal with any of the fallout. I called and made the appt. with the bankruptcy atty. I'm the one who's moved out of the house (I know, I know I shouldn't have). I'm the one who's going to have to pick up all the pieces from this. I've actually contacted a divorce atty.

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