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mshilton16's Blog

November... showers ???

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Hey everyone. I apologize, it's been a while since I've been on the site, but I need to vent. 

SS14 now lives with DH and I full time. He goes to his mom's during the summers and winter breaks. So we have him here NON-STOP. For a teenager, he's pretty decent. His attitude is minimal, and most of his quirks are just being loud and as obnoxious as possible.Which, I can handle. However; now a new challenge has presented itself....

BM pulled SS12 out of private school

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...without talking to anyone about it. 

I dropped Ss12 off at his BM's house the night before school started. I could tell BM & her husband had been drinking that night so I told SS12 to make sure to call me if he needed a ride to school in the morning (in case she was too hungover to take him). Instead I got a call from the principal of the private school stating that Bm was un-enrolling Ss12. He asked if this was correct because that was the first time he'd ever even heard from BM -- she had been completely unenvollved with that school the previous year.  
 

SS11 tells me it's not my house when DH isn't in earshot.

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This started when he was 7. We were newly married and I had just moved in. I was in the kitchen washing dishes and he was playing around like a monkey, jumping on counters and hanging on cabinets. Like the women in my life told me as I was growing up, I said "get out of my kitchen". He whipped around and told me "This is NOT your house, mshilton! This is my house. I've lived here since I was born, I was here before you and I will make you go away."   I was shocked!!

BM needs to just drop off the planet

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Ok, so I've disengaged completely with BM since joining ST and opening my eyes to the wonderful world of cutting BM out of my life. I completely stopped engaging in her shenanigans with SS amd put a halt to attending events that my involvement wasn't necessary. However, things have only seemed to have worsened and now she's seemingly reaching for me and DH any way she possibly can. 

Is SS in competition with me?

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 As soon as the honeymoon was over and I moved in with DH (we were a little old-fashioned and didn't live together until after the wedding), SS went from being a sweet 7 year old to a little devil with horns. It seemed to all change the moment I moved in. He would constantly tell me how he wishes his mom and dad were still together (which, I get is normal for a kid to want), but would also go as far as saying things like "This is not your house, mshilton!" and "I was here before you, I can make you go away!".

BM wants to "band together" ??

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Yesterday they closed schools down in my area. Immediately after the announcement I received a group text message from BM to myself, DH, FIL & MIL. It went something like this: 

"Hey, schools are closed now, this is getting really scary and we need to make a plan. I think we should all band together so we can all share resources in case these people get crazy." She went on to imply that by "band together" she meant that all of us should start planning to move in with my MIL & FIL (because they have the largest home and property).

Disengaging and it feels so good

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After my last post I received a lot of helpful insight as to the unhealthy level of interaction I was having with BM. It was wreaking havoc on my brain, my self-esteem, and I was caught up in believing the problem was me. Turns out it wasn't me at all. I needed boundaries and I needed to step out of the role of playing 'second-mom' all of the time. No wonder I was so insecure, even I was putting myself second to her.  

SD17 is Pregnant

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This is my first time ever writing a blog, so forgive me. I married my DH in 2016 and inherited two skids: SS11 & SD17. I'd been warned prior to being married that "being a step-parent is not for the weak-at-heart" and I've quickly grown to understand what they meant. Being a stepmom is definetely one of the hardest things I've ever done -- especially now.

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