So I am trying to figure if my wife is trying to make me insane. It seems all the emotions between us tend to be negative due to arguments over SD or other issues. I tired to really be a positive person and good dad & husband this weekend.

Saturday DW and BD2 did some holiday related activities sponsored by the town. BD saw Santa, trolley rides, etc. SD13 slept til noon so she wasnt along for the ride. I spent the late afternoon and evening working in the garage doing winter prep. Hours of hard work freezing in the garage. I was wiped out and headed to bed early after a shower. DW came to bed sometime after I slipped into a coma. Sunday started early as always with a 2 year old. DW was having friends and some family over late am for a Pampered Chef Party.
I had given it the OK when asked but I also took care of BD and another guests kid for a short time before BD and I headed out for a family function and gave DW the day off.
Came home at 6 and we got BD ready for bed. I was hoping DW would come to bed early and we could watch tv or something together. She did eventually come to bed, but I was disappointed at the time… after 10. She said she wanted to go over a few things, basic housekeeping items I assumed.

She told me she could recall if we had made a decision or not but blah blah blah… she was beating around the bush so I know its about SD and figure its about her Xmas party she wanted to have. No, SD wants to use upstairs as her bedroom. We have a (too) large home. It’s a modern colonial with an attached family room above the garage, and there is a finished attic that is setup as a guestroom, exercise area, play area etc… The room is huge, the length of the house and ½ as wide. SD wants this as her bedroom.
This come up before with my wife and it was discussed and clearly decided. I am not heating and cooling the 3rd floor full time. That would be a huge hit to utility costs. Her bedroom is perfectly fine as it is, I understand she would WANT it, but sorry, not happening. Plus she has already ruined the carpet in her room, which is a pit. Im not giving up an area that is available for the family and guests so she can have the biggest bedroom ever. DW is like, O, I forgot about the added heating costs etc… but she thought it would be better for guests to have SDs room because its closer to the bathroom! She had other reasons that were all very weak and made no sense. Its like I was handling the rationalizations of a 13 year old. There are no real benefits to giving SD this room, none, but here is DW lobbying.
She denies she is trying to do SD’s bidding but she is. Of course what was made completely clear, was that SD cant have the room because I said no, not DW. DW denied that too. She wasn’t blaming me. Maybe not but SD clearly sees it that way because DW set it up that way.
SO I spent the weekend trying to be a good husband and father hoping to foster some good feelings with DW and I and instead we argue (again) about SD and I feel crapped on. (again)