ex-wife is evil step-daughter is evil and dangerous to my baby and my husband does not understand - don't want them near my baby
I have been with my husband for three and a half years. His divorced with three children 9, 10 and 14 years old.
His youngest children are so sweet loving and caring the eldest one (daughter) is a nasty piece of work.
The ex phoned my husband when we were on holiday several times, when I answered the phone she passed the phone over to her son 10 as I heard a pause as she past the phone over. She started an argument with her eldest so that she (I believe) had a reason to call and interrupt our holiday. This is not the first holiday that she has interrupted, she did the same when we were in France this last year. As soon as we got off the plane she was on the phone within an hour of us getting home on both occasions saying that she needs for my husband to take full custody of his eldest child. Then they are best friends again, when he calls her on it and says he want all three and not one. Not another word about it.
Her kids were always sick when he was due visitation. So he would have to stay at her house with them overnight or for a few hours. When he sends a email saying please let me know when they are ill before I arrive they are never ill again when he collects them. For three years now.
She announces she pregnant a week before I was due to give birth saying that the reason she never said anything before is because she wanted to make sure it was safe (3 months along) before saying. But on calculating her due date I find out that she could of only been 5 or 6 weeks pregnant as a maximum.
When I was due to give birth she gets her child to phone my husband at eight pm to say hi wishing you good luck with everything and what’s what going on. He then tells the children everything including how I’m getting induced, what method they are using and where they put fingers for checking the baby. She knew that I was being induced in the morning. Why are good luck wishes are sent in the evening (my guess is she knew I was in labour and in pain and wanted him too think about her, upset me and make my baby go into distress. Feel like she was trying to kill my unborn baby).
Makes her children buy my baby outfit, the youngest that is not used to the word no then insists that the baby wears this dress on her first birthday. Then on her birthday guess what present she has taken the kids to buy. A themed dress for the birthday party, as it was a themed birthday party. So again making sure that my baby must wear what she has brought on her! On MY baby’s first birthday. Because her youngest child who is very sweet insists that we make the baby wear the outfit. I never put her in them anyway, nobody dresses my child for me especially not my husbands ex wife as she disguises her battered face under the excuses of the children want it. How dare SHE TRY AND CONTROL ME.
The daughter eldest is another story. She spent the week with us and I looked after her, we had what I thought was a fantastic week. She then comes back a week later acts ok and then when her father takes her to the shops cries and says that I was talking about her mother when she was with me. Then begs him not to say anything. Her and her mother in-between this time visited all mutual friends and family her and my husband used to share that will listen telling them, saying this is what I had done. Her mother kindly advises her she must tell my husband and his parents so she can have someone who knows me advise her. Did I mention this kid was trying to slander her mother on this occasion she is talking about and I told her what happens with her mum and her boyfriend is not my business (as she was saying sexual things her mother does kissing, touching and stuff). She also told me how saggy her mothers body is and again I said this is not my concern. She even gave me gossip on family. So what the heck!!!
My husband then insists that because his kids want the ex-wife to see our baby I must allow him and the kids to take our baby for the ex too see and hold so they feel like everything is normal.
Even though she even has gone as far as indirectly threatening my (our) baby by saying that it’s so easy for anyone to break a babies legs. She’s been reading books about it and it can be done as easy as breaking a bottle. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! His reaction how dare I say she’s harmful, maybe she is just saying innocently, or just reading a book that she thought was interesting. I must allow him and her and the other kids who are great time alone with the baby, so they can go out and feel like everything is normal. For the sake of the three kids. So what about our baby and keeping her safe?
He has gone as far as leaving her unsupervised with the baby, only 5 minutes a time but still unsupervised so she does not feel like she is not trusted with the baby. I don’t like this at all, and am constantly trying to keep watch and its hard. I don’t trust her at all.
The daughter is rude, immature, spoilt, plastered in make-up with a 30 minute a day make-up routine. She always has something wrong with her. Headache, stomach ache, period you name it. She will suddenly curl over and cry I’m not well.
She picks constant things about me. I look like I need a weeks sleep, something smells (and she don’t even wash every day and the mother does not make them as she is the same lol) perfume not nice, don’t want cooked food by me, you name it. Because her mum does packet food and chips lol.
She lies like a professional in one situation she said something very insulting and hurtful I told her father and she then cries and say’s I said she was nasty! Her dad thinks she’s just a bit worried about her parents divorce (three years ago) or that she just needs some shopping hugs you name it. If it’s not telling her shut her mouth and behave that’s what she needs.
My husband has gone as far as saying that I have a problem with his ex-wife and so that’s why I am not trusting of his daughter. WHAT!
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Comments
WHO exactly is this guy
WHO exactly is this guy married to?!??!?? I cannot believe that he would think his actions (or inactions) are OK.
Yes, maybe BM would NOT harm the baby. But why even put your WIFE in the position where it is going to stress her out?? Why include your ex into your family like that?!?
My husband then insists that
My husband then insists that because his kids want the ex-wife to see our baby I must allow him and the kids to take our baby for the ex too see and hold so they feel like everything is normal.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Oh hell no! sorry, but your DH is still acting like he is married to the ex. I guess he is glad you had a kid for him, his kids, and his ex. eeewww.
My husband then insists that
My husband then insists that because his kids want the ex-wife to see our baby I must allow him and the kids to take our baby for the ex too see and hold so they feel like everything is normal.
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Hell to the no! I made it perfectly clear from day one that our BS1 is NEVER under any circumstances allowed to be in the presence of either BM. Our child is none of their business, none of their concern. My DH agreed. If he would have told me that he was going to take OUR son to see BM, I would have walked out the door right that second and never came back.
We also have good friends who have a daughter who is 15.5 and loves to "watch" the baby, but I have NEVER left her alone with him, not even for 5 minutes AND she IS a really nice girl, level headed, sweet etc. but until BS1 gets a little older neither DH nor I are comfortable with leaving him with her alone.... and especially not a rude obnoxious 14 year old like yours!!!
you poor thing! you need to start putting your foot down, this is YOUR child and DH and skids should not bully and guilt you into doing things that you are uncomfortable with. this is just beyond ridiculous!
I totally agree with Daisy.
I totally agree with Daisy. That woman does not need to see YOUR child. Keep your child away from her and tell her to worry about her own from now on. Nothing needs to be proved to his kids. DH needs to tell them that your child has nothing to do with their BM. Also, you need to stand up to your husband. All of these people are trying to control you. It made me sick reading this. Put your foot down and do it fast.
Ummm, time to reclaim your
Ummm, time to reclaim your life.
As for the clothing thing, let it go. So they give you an outfit that you don't want. Be gracious. Wait until they return to their mother's lair and the next time they come over tell them it is a sweet outfit however *baby* found it scratchy.
I think you need to tell your DH to stop blabbing his mouth about what goes on in your family. I would have divorced my husband for reciting my position etc while in labour to his kids and ex wife. Even if he told MY kids ... sheesh! How embarrassing. Yup, divorced him on the spot.
Part of the problem is he is somewhat still in his crazy marriage to his ex because he knows she can manipulate the kids away from him. The next time your SD lies, just look at her and say, "I have no reason to lie, I gain nothing from lying." And walk away.
Your DH will continue to believe her as long as he wants to believe her.
Thank you glad someone
Thank you glad someone understands seemed or was made too feel like I was unreasonable or overreacting. Because really I think he was treated like shi* in the previous relationship they must of walked all over him. So if they manipulate him, I must comply, and I won't EVER allow that. Even if he does not see what is happening.
I'm resenting ever second I must be around SD14. She has one of the most awful characters you could ever come across.
you need to take control of
:jawdrop: you need to take control of your situation with your baby...there is no way IN HELL i'd let my dh's ex hold my baby, i MIGHT let her see the baby while she stands outside the house and i pick baby up from inside and just show her. if she comes to the hospital, she will not be allowed to come inside the room (will only be there to bring the skids up to see)
question is how long are you going to let them control you like this...skids will get over it, bm shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with bundle of joy
just my opinion
o and let me add on, they are
o and let me add on, they are divorced for a reason, might as well call her family if this is how interactive she will be with you and to her, it's all out of spite to you, she don't care about that baby or if she does, she wants it for herself (to have her family back)
He say's I must allow bm for
He say's I must allow bm for the kids
I would tell him to go pound
I would tell him to go pound sand! NO way in HELL wold I let him tell me I HAVE to let someone hold MY child especially the bm! I'd tel him to get F$%^^&^! What nerve, tell him to use those balls on bm and the kids not you!
Your so right
Your so right
That is creepy how DH is
That is creepy how DH is serving the BM and hand delivering your daughter to the nosy bitch. If she wants to see the baby, she could come to your home in front of you and do it, rather than disrespect you like that.
This is complete BULLSHIT!
WHAT??? You shouldn't feel
WHAT??? You shouldn't feel like the Ex needs to see the baby?? WHY?? The kids know their parents aren't together so why this fake normalcy? If you don't want her to see the baby, then don't! That's absolutely ridiculous! My DH ex hasn't even seen what our child looks like, and he's almost two. No way she needs to see!
I know I was upset when BM
I know I was upset when BM found out my DS20's last NAME!
I would NEVER trust that "woman" with my own child.
I read this blog to my dh and
I read this blog to my dh and he was shocked that your dh would even consider such and thing. He said you need to hit him upside the head with a frying pan! LOL Anyway don't let him do this. good luck
screw all that non sence...i
screw all that non sence...i seriously deal with the same dramatic 10 yrs old sd..ugh..she drives me nuts...so lazy about parenting.weird..lazy jelious bm.Do something about it now..or it will continue to drive u crazy.i tell my sd straight up how it is when she acts a fool.if her "daddy" wont then i sure as hell will.Espically when it comes to my 9 month old baby girl...ill protect her the most.Sd sat baby down and jst threw her back on her head..2 times..wanted to slap the shit out of her..But be carefull..opps may seems inosent but not ok..Not even joking..your dh needs to hear you out grl..and get control of the kids.hang in...
If I had a bio kid with my
If I had a bio kid with my wife my X would sure as hell never see it nor would SS's SpermIdiot.
WTF is wrong with your husband wanting to take YOUR child to his XWs house? :jawdrop:
Nope, not in my lifetime.
My SS has three younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs by the SpermIdiot and two other baby mamas. My wife nor I want a relationship with them. We ask how they are doing, tell SS to wish them Merry Christmas, but that is about it. They only reason why we give a shit about them is because they are important to our son and because we have some sorry for them for having to be raised full time in the SpermClan. The younger three do not have a snowballs chance in hell of having successful lives with the full time toxic and vitriolic baggage they get from the SpermClan. We listen to SS's concerns and stories only because the more information we have on the SpermClan the better we can guide and cousel SS on how to deal with their crap when he is on visitation.
SD's are good at telling
SD's are good at telling outright lies and keeping things going between their mom, dad and you the new wife. I married a man with all adult daughters." Musical chairs "is what I called the game that went on. If mad at mom or just for the sake of engaging dh or I in conversation they would bad mouth mom or what ever sister was not present. If I was not present it was me. If dad was not present it was bad mouth dad. With all the technology available now that is easily fixed by getting a small voice activated recorder. Spend a few weeks gathering the vile comments but say nothing about the recorder. Then when the rug is pulled from under your feet by the "musical chairs" innocent version of what you suppossedly said about mom, THEN pull out you recorder and replay SD remarks about who ever she is badmouthing. Just like the credit card slogan---NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT.
BM sounds crazy....
BM sounds crazy.... regardless of whether she has been repeating her wishes to the kids, the adults should BOTH be asking WHY does she even have a wish to hold your baby?? It's not hers. She doesn't get along with you, the mother. I mean... hello!?!?! So clearly the problem here is that she shouldn't be saying that kins of thing to her daughters to make them even think that is "normal"
no DH is being an idiot.