stepchild threatens baby indirectly - husbands hates me for being cautious
We had his kids over. His eldest child took our baby and brought her in another room he was in. He then leaves her and joins us in the living room. I'm nervous, his all laughs and smiles. He then cuddles me and feels my heart pounding. He then says do you want me to get the baby. I say its up to you. He takes the baby politey and brings her into the main room.
He then tells me later, its difficult for him. Because she was playing with her he don't want to not allow her on her own with the baby. He says he understands my worry but its not fair and does not show I trust his daughter.
She is always indirectly insulting the baby, examples:-
- she's a cross eye and telling a table of 10 to look so they laugh. Its just what babies sometimes do
- she's always wearing the same clothes, which is not true. In a full room of people
- she has a double chin
- she's shown people pictures and they said she's different looking
- she knew she would be trouble, when DH jokes because the baby is crying
- the baby don't look like dh until everyone keeps saying how much she does and how beautiful she is. Then suddenly the baby looks like her when she was a baby.
All this even though she even has gone as far as indirectly threatening my (our) baby by saying that it’s so easy for anyone to break a babies legs. She’s been reading books about it and it can be done as easy as breaking a bottle. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! His reaction how dare I say she’s harmful, maybe she is just saying innocently, or just reading a book that she thought was interesting. I must allow him and her and the other kids who are great time alone with the baby, so they can go out and feel like everything is normal. For the sake of the three kids. So what about our baby and keeping her safe?
He has gone as far as leaving her unsupervised with the baby, only 5 minutes a time but still unsupervised so she does not feel like she is not trusted with the baby. I don’t like this at all, and am constantly trying to keep watch and its hard. I don’t trust her at all.
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Comments
How old is this child? Do
How old is this child? Do you have reason to trust this child? It sure doesn't sound like it. Go with your gut, mother's instinct is just that.
Baby is 1 His daughter 14
Baby is 1
His daughter 14
This girl is 14 and made that
This girl is 14 and made that statement about breaking a baby's legs? Keep that psycho away from that baby and if hubby doesn't like it, too damn bad. 14 is old enough to know how horrible a statement like that is, she did it to scare you. Which is why she should be kept away from the baby w/o proper supervision. If she is willing to make that veiled threat directly to an adult, then she is capable of carrying through with it, should she become angry. JMHO.
I would raise total hell
I would raise total hell until this girl is NEVER alone with my child period!! Tell DH 'tough shyte', it is not happening!
Are you kidding me get that
Are you kidding me get that SD14 away from your child. Who the hell jokes about breaking a baby's leg. I would tell this kid "anything happens to my baby and I will do to you what you did to her"...omg
And what is wrong with your DH is his brain not functioning???? my god his daughter is jealous...Yes she is..but to threaten your (his)baby and he gets mad at you..come on..tell him to go punt and take care your your child as she is totally defenseless in this situation....
I'm still shaking my head in disbelief...wow...
Z
Zo I think he honestly thinks
Zo I think he honestly thinks sd14 is an angel. I don't think any parent wants to believe they raised a demon. Its a poor reflection on him.
If anyone says anything nice about the baby she coughs and then they are like oh darling, you okay your so wonderful. Then they are all talking about her (his family) grandparents ect.
They took her shopping after saying that about the baby, can you believe that!
Shopping..wow to reward her
Shopping..wow to reward her good behaviour??? come on now..this is just unreal..
You need to have a sit down with hubby and lay the law down and dont waiver at all...if he doesn't like it show him the door. You cannot compromise the safety of your baby..you are all this child has....
Z
Yes shopping Zo. This is the
Yes shopping Zo. This is the thing when SD14 was asked by DH what she said about breaking babies legs. He comes to me says he asked her and she is very upset because acording too her I said she was nasty, after she said that. A complete and utter lie. But also it takes the focus off what she said anyway. Professional lier!
So yeah mad with me. And I get told to be an adult and comfort her and support her because really she's a great kid!
Here's a question. What kind
Here's a question. What kind of book could a 14 yr. old be reading that actually details breaking a baby's legs and how easily it can be done??? Is her dad not monitoring what kind of information she's taking in? Sorry, meant to ask this yesterday but, lost rack of the post. (There were so many, lol.)
I think you have to go with
I think you have to go with your gut. I never trusted SD with either one of my BDs, for good reason. I saw her numerous times deliberately trying to injure them (throwing a phone at me while I was holding baby BD), putting them in dangerous situations (opening the baby gate and watching baby BD crawl to the top when we have hardwood floors she could fall on), and ignoring them when they were injured (standing next to BD3 when her fingers were shut in the front door and not helping, just watching her squirm and cry).
DH constantly said I didn't trust SD (I didn't) and that I made her feel bad. I told him I didn't care, SD was not to be unsupervised around our BDs. One day I was upstairs and DH was watching baby BD (then 9 months). He came upstairs also, leaving baby BD alone downstairs with SD, then 13. I immediately chastised him, and he immediately defended SD, and before I could get downstairs I heard a loud thump, followed by hysterical crying.
Sure enough, SD had put baby BD on the couch and LEFT THE ROOM. Baby BD promptly fell off ON HER HEAD. I was furious. DH was totally defending SD, saying she didn't KNOW BD could fall off the couch. Honestly? SD has FOUR little sisters and was 13 at the time. And supposedly she was also babysitting. She KNEW that would happen. I was SO mad at DH and SO mad at SD, and it was too late because poor baby BD was already hurt.
Do you really want to have to wait until something bad happens to your baby before your DH takes you seriously?
Thanks for the advice. Are
Thanks for the advice. Are you still with DH? He knows I don't care anymore my baby my priority. He can carry on playinf dad with a child that may not even be his. This brat has ruled now I'm the queen. No more bull*hit!
Yes, I am still with DH. I
Yes, I am still with DH. I couldn't see leaving him, then I wouldn't be there to keep my BDs safe around SD. DH also knew my babies were my priority, and he eventually came around to accepting that. SD has little relationship with my BDs, but that is her choice. She basically ignores them and can't be bothered to play with them, etc. They pretty much do the same to her. They see her maybe twice a year at this point, instigated by DH. I have told him that if SD cannot behave herself and not badmouth me around my BDs, then that contact will cease as well.
Liz sounds like dh knows
Liz sounds like dh knows she's a unkind child? Has he admitted that yet?
It's not fair to the baby to
It's not fair to the baby to put the sds feelings of trust over the baby's need for safety. That is YOUR baby and keep her on an eyes only basis with the baby.
The baby is NOT a toy for sd to take in her room and play with. You are the mother....you stay with that baby. I had a baby with DH and I have 3 bios and 3 kids. NOT ONE OF THEM ever said any of those things about the new baby. She is jealous of the baby for 1. and for 2. she is immature and you don't know what things are going through her mind. 3. maybe she won't break the babies legs....but (f*ck me runnin)she knows it is possible. I can see her saying that if she says...oh i better be careful, i wouldn't want to break the baby....but she didn't say that did she?
It is your job to protect the baby and teach sd the appropriate way to handle her. Tell DH that you know best on this one! You gotta get your big mouth out and learn to use it!! LOL....when they are bigger and someone hurts them, you're going to need your big mama voice that doesn't back down!!
I guess I am coming "unglued" for ya. LOL
Well this is how it goes! She
Well this is how it goes!
She doesn't hold the baby or ask. When dh comes home she's like I haven't held the baby today. He takes the baby and give her to her. He then goes shop 10 minutes later.
She then says to me, babies legs are like bottles easy to break. I say oh babies legs are quiet strong. She then says no you can break a leg like a glass bottle. I've read a book about it. It can be done as easy as breaking a bottle. Then smug look on her face.
Dh comes back 5 minutes later, she is dancing and singing and very happy with herself. So when he asked her the next day and she starts crying saying I said she was nasty. She says I was so upset all night and I had tears in my eyes for the rest of the night. I say well no how did I upset you when you were singing and dancing a few minutes later (with dh, by the way). Dh is silent throughout this statement of fact. Her reply you did upset me (crying) I wanna go home to my mum.
So where would she get a book or even a magazine like this from. Why reading that and could it be her mum causing trouble from behind the scene?
Oh yes, and dh tells me later stop talking about how she was dancing and singing when we argued later.