Gave up something that would make me happy, so everyone else can be.

My engagement ring that I had been waiting for.

FH and I have been having some financial troubles, like 2 years of them. Recently he got a new job, but that adds our difficulties right now due to the delay in the first paycheck and him needing to build his clientle to be able to recieve bonuses.

A few months back he took me to look at engagement rings, I unexpectedly found "the one" at an awsome price. FH put a considerable amount of $$$ down on it and had 1 more payment to go.

Over the summer BM was moving in with her then "fiance" and told my FH that since she would not be paying any bills there, that he could just give her a lesser amount in CS. I asked what strings were attached and my FH said that there were none.

Recently, she has wanted us to keep skids an extra day, we have them EW already, because she does not want to pay a babysitter on the days she works. FH told her no. She got angry, and told him that she would call the state and tell them that he had only been paying her what they agreed on over the summer. Why does my FH pay $700 in CS every month, $250 in insurance, and have the kids EW????? If I hadn't been here the past 2 years, FH would not have even been able to feed the kids or keep the electric on. He would be in the negative before he even got his paycheck.

I went to FH after thinking about all the stress the argument caused and told him that he needs to get the $$$ back he paid on the engagement ring for me and start giving her the full CS amount, no matter what.

So sad, but I know it's the right thing.

I am concerned because SS7 asks everyweekend when his father and I are going to get engaged/married. (BM has gotten engaged to twice in the past 6 months.) How do I handle that question and how do I get him to stop asking it because I'm really sensitive right now and I don't want it thrown in my face.

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Stepberg, you are utterly

Stepberg, you are utterly ignorant. I have read countless postings from you and am in complete shock. Half of them don't make any sense whatsoever and the others just make you sound like you have the mental capacity of a teenager. Why are you even here?

She looked for the ring before all of these "financial problems". She's not demanding to have one now. She is NOT acting "martyr-ish" if you even know what that means....obviously not. By the way, apostrophes are your friend....use them.

I really don't mean to sound cruel here, but I have had enough of the insensitive comments.

Namaste123, I'm sorry for the venting but you don't need this from whomever Stepberg really is. I don't have a whole lot of advice for you but I know how hard that must have been. You're thinking of whole family and the overall financial picture...I think you did the right thing.

*Katherz*
Finish each day and be done with it.You have done what you could.Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can.Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

You telling her that she

You telling her that she acting "martyr-ish" wasn't helping the situation....maybe I'm missing how her situation and being a martyr is related. I'm sure you have a lot of advice to offer and want to help, but adding crazy, insensitive jibberish isn't going to help. It just upsets people because you sometimes come across extremely rude.

He in fact does. A 7 year

He in fact does. A 7 year old does that when his BM has been engaged twice and lived with 2 different men in the past 6 months.

Or perhaps BM has something to do with all the questions this 7 year old ask. This child asks all sorts of things a 7 year old shouldn't be concerned with.

Example, I lost my job a few months ago, and had been looking for a new job. Got a new one a month ago, but the hiring process was long and I didn't actually start working until last week. However, my bank account was full, I was still paying for what if father couldn't cover, and it mattered not whether I found a job anytime soon.
SS7 asked me nasitly the other day if I got a job yet. Why is this anything a 7 year old asks, especially when it does not affect him whatsoever.

I have two 7 year old

I have two 7 year old niece's that ask to see my ring every single time they see me which is like twice a month.

"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."

I have a suggestion that may

I have a suggestion that may sound a little wacky. Do you have any diamond earrings?

My DH bought me some studs about 3 years ago and I lost one. We came up with the suggestion to get the stud I still have set into a white gold band for me to wear on my right hand, and it only cost $110 dollars. It looks GREAT, BTW!

I know that sounds weird but I had a friend who wanted to ask his GF to marry him but didn't have any money for a ring. His mom gave him of her old mismatched diamonds after I told him about my ring, and the gf loved it! It was more important for her to be married than have a ring.

I know you want the ring you WANT, but we can always upgrade dear!! Let's turn lemons into lemonade!
____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

Thanks TheWife. No I don't

Thanks TheWife. No I don't have any diamonds.

I can wait until we can do it right.

I'm just really trying to stay positive.

F off stepberg. I would

F off stepberg. I would have taken a hunk of trash. He CONVINCED me to go looking for rings after I told him for months that I did not want to, that he could just get whatever. Go f* yourself. I can't help it that when we sat down I saw a very pretty ring and about 50% discount. I did not tell him I HAD to have that ring or to get it then. I thought he just wanted an "idea" of what I wanted. I didn't even want to go. People chose "the one" on lots of things even shoes for fucks sake. You are a miserable bitch.

I hope you understand I

I hope you understand I wasn't trying to convince you not to get a nice ring. I was simply offering an idea to you if you are like me and have a diamond earring that you lost and have nothing to do with the other one

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

No, not at all TheWife.

No, not at all TheWife. Your post was very helpful.

TW great idea.. I would have

TW great idea.. I would have never thought of doing that

Thank you so much for

Thank you so much for standing up for me Katherz. Stepberg does that everytime I post, but I have been a member on here a long time and plan to be for a very very long time so I did not want my fellow steptalkers to think that I was the type to stir up arguements. So thanks for having my back!!! Much love!

I put that post up so I could try to keep a positive attitude about the situation, it does not mean that I am a martyer because I need my fellow steppers to encourage me and help me stay positive.

Namaste...I'm sorry you guys

Namaste...I'm sorry you guys can't get the ring you had your heart set on. Things like that are so disappointing when the reason behind losing it is due to something beyond your control.

I would actually take the honest approach with questions about when you're getting engaged. I would say something like, "well honey, your dad and I have been engaged for a long time but we really don't need a ring to show that...our hearts know where we stand and when people really love each other, that's all that matters."

Then leave it at that. ((((((namaste))))))

_______________________________________________________________________________
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut

Namaste - I bet that was a

Namaste - I bet that was a hard decision to make, it too bad you had to make that choice. I dont know that I could have made the same decision you did. You should be proud of yourself. I don't have any advice, just wanted to say "I completely understand and see that you gave up something HUGE for the better of your family".

Stepberg - you have to the MOST hateful person I have come by in quite some time. How sad your world must be...I will pray for you.

"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

What a noble thing for you

What a noble thing for you to do, Namaste. ((((HUGS))))

OH, forgot to mention, you

OH, forgot to mention, you can always get a fake ring that looks 100% real. When I go on vacation, I leave my real rings at home in the safe and I wear fake ones:) I always get tons of envious looks when i wear the fake stuff...no one knows they aren't real.
I also wore fake rings before H got the real thing for me...I was practicing to make sure I wouldn't lose the real ones when I got them.(terrible with jewelry)
Sounds lame, but you can always fake it til ya make it honey...no shame in that at all.

_______________________________________________________________________________
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut

I do that too when I go on

I do that too when I go on vacation too Barbie. Matter of fact, I sent my wedding ring in to be repaired a few years back and wore a fake that got so many compliments I kept wearing it for a long time even after my real diamond came back! Fakes can be gorgeous and noone knows!

That is a great idea. I had

That is a great idea. I had the opposite problem, I have had someone ask me if my ring is fake because its a little on the gawdy side, and its the real one!!! Now the fake ones, no questions get asked. lol.

My advice is to have DH look

My advice is to have DH look into having CS reduced. If BM is now splitting household expenses with her fiance, and BM previously agreed to a reduced CS amount (in the future ALWAYS get BM's agreement in writing or email) then have DH go to court to change CS to the new lowered amount. CS modifications can be done without a lawyer if needed.

I know what it's like to not get the ring you want. I have been with DH for 16 years. I waited 8 long years for DH to save up enough money to get me a ring. And even though I showed him exactly what I wanted, he couldn't afford it and got me something that he liked instead. I've been wearing this ugly ring for 8 years and you know what? I would never trade it in for something better. The relationship you have with DH is far more valuable than any diamond ring. And it sounds like you have a winner if your DH is already enforcing boundaries with BM.

The boundry enforcment is

The boundry enforcment is something very new. He is doing an excellent job as of late. I was so proud of him, that was partly why I mentioned getting the $$$ back on the ring, because if he is going to handle things the right way, so am I.

No she is jealous that I

No she is jealous that I don't have 2 kids and that I can support myself and go to school not on taxpayer $$$.

You said she posts

You said she posts negatively on all your posts? Is she your BM?

Also, I don't have to marry

Also, I don't have to marry for convience like her, because she refuses to get a real job.

This is a DIRECT QUOTE from

This is a DIRECT QUOTE from the original blog:

"I went to FH after thinking about all the stress the argument caused and told him that he needs to get the $$$ back he paid on the engagement ring for me and start giving her the full CS amount, no matter what."

I believe this says she told her FH to get the money back to take care of his responsibilities...SHE TOLD HIM TO GET THE MONEY BACK ON THE RING SHE WANTED BECAUSE SHE'S A GROWN UP AND REALIZES THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN HAVING "THE ONE" RING SHE WANTS...SHE IS SACRIFICING WHAT SHE WANTS TO HANDLE THEIR NEEDS INSTEAD> HOW IS THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND????????

She's allowed to be sad about the sacrifice and that's what her blog is talking about.

_______________________________________________________________________________
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut

Steperg, Namaste123 has

Steperg,

Namaste123 has already told you to F*** OFF! This is her blog, and she has told you in no uncertain terms that she does not want your input, your opinion, your advice -- NOTHING.

You need to take your own advice, and if you don't agree, DO NOT READ THE BLOG. You have been asked to go away. Find another one to read and stop offering comments that the OP has told you she does not want.

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

hmmm...someone being engaged

hmmm...someone being engaged 2x is nothing to be jealous over...I'm pretty sure namaste is NOT jealous about anything.

As far as competing...sounds like Bm is the one trying to compete with Namaste. Bm sees Namaste in a stable,steady relationship and Bm has gotten engaged TWICE just to try and duplicate what Namaste has. THAT is someone who is competing.

_______________________________________________________________________________
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut

I'm sorry you had to give

I'm sorry you had to give that up, it must have hurt! Speaks loads about your character though! (I already knew you rocked ) I'm proud of you, and I agree with BBB, fake it till ya make it! I've used that line forever! AND I think its a fabulous idea about the earrings being put into a ring! Maybe you could go to a pawn shop and buy a cheap pair of earrings. Pawn shops are great places to buy jewelry cheaply.

Thanks Sia! Good idea on

Thanks Sia! Good idea on the pawn shop!

The fake diamond is an

The fake diamond is an excellent idea, or even one grown in a lab.

There are all kinds of evils behind diamonds - from the mining to the cutting - the most unsavory characters are the ones profiting and they should be boycotted really.

very true. Another positive

very true. Another positive to look at, it coulda been a blood diamond!!! Love ya ladies.

never heard about any of

never heard about any of this....whats that about? what kind of "evils"? Really curious.....

In africa people there are

In africa people there are very bad groups that have groups of slaves digging for diamonds to be sold in the american market (I think). They treat them poorly, and will kill them in a second over anything. It's a big market there, there is a movie called "Blood Diamond" with Leonardo Dicaprio that explains what happens.

WOW, really? I had no idea!

WOW, really? I had no idea! i guess I live under a rock!

Sia, you're adorable. I

Sia, you're adorable. I just had to say it.

Thanks, but unfortunately I

Thanks, but unfortunately I am being serious. I've never heard of any of it. Unfortunately my mother raised me to put my head in the sand for any "unpleasantries" that might come your way. I was raised in a very "proper" home and we didn't discuss such things. I feel bad that I wear diamonds now, & actually prefer them to anything else.

Not only the child slave

Not only the child slave labor in the diamond mines but also 95% of diamonds pass through Israel for cutting and if ever there was a place that needed boycotting - it's Israel.

I think Stepberg is my BM

Scary...lol... Namaste, you

Scary...lol...
Namaste, you sound like a sweetheart and to sacrifice for your new family is a great thing. You are a great person, who cares what the frauds may think. I have been on this site for about 2+years now, I constantly have to change my name ( the bm lurks). Of all the people I have seen I think your a great steptalker along with bitchbitchbarbie and stepmomjen just to name a few.

For your ring doll, have you tried Walmart sounds weird, but its a cheap and you have a ring. Good luck

Nothing wrong with a fake

Nothing wrong with a fake diamond till u guys can replace it....I had one...and know what?...that ring means more to me than my real one!!!....I still prefer it cuz its the one my DH slipped on my finger when he knew he just couldn't live without me....LOL....I think u are being VERY noble here, namaste....and good comes to good....I bet down the road u have a rock to beat all rocks!!!...as for the negative poster...ptooey....yur showing yur true colors....

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

no worries....I shall wave

no worries....I shall wave my magic wand and she has no power here......."bling" "bling"

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

Well he could have gotten

Well he could have gotten you a $20 cubic zirconium ring off of ebay (that looked real) then when it turned your finger green....... Unfortunately, things sound really hard for you. Just thought I'd make you all giggle with that one.

"So sad, but I know it's the

"So sad, but I know it's the right thing."

Namaste, I admire your spirit and I'm sorry you're sad.

ok, I have to say

ok, I have to say something.

When I first came here I thought how awful it was that everyone was picking on stepberg.

Now I've changed my mind. Stepberg is a wind up and is best ignored. I wouldn't believe a word she types - if she even is a 'she'.

Now, now, didn't anyone tell

Now, now, didn't anyone tell you to play nice with the trannies (just kidding, I couldn't help myself).

I am very proud of you!!!

I am very proud of you!!! And, you should be very proud of yourself!!!
You sound like you already have what you want and that is FH
Please do not let negative people pull you apart.
Some people come to this site just to be negative or mean and not for the purpose of this site.

Sounds like you will be a great wife and SM

Good luck

Tell SS you will get engaged

Tell SS you will get engaged when you and SO are ready. I'm sorry you had to give up your ring, but you did it for the right reasons and I believe that because you have a good heart and good intentions, you will get what you want in the end.

I don't think steperg is

I don't think steperg is trying to be mean. I think all she is saying is a ring doesn't really matter you can get a gold band and still be completely happy as long as you found the right guy.

Really what matters more - the ring or making sure you are financially secure?

Also you might want to look into getting the child support amount changed. If he'd be in the negative with child support then he's paying to much. Your income should not be a factor.

Namaste, try QVC or HSN...

Namaste, try QVC or HSN... seriously, you can get solid gold (white or yellow) or sterling silver with really nice CZ's for really cheap and trust me, I get compliments from everyone that sees my rings. It's beautiful and you can't tell...

I was sort of stuck where you are... my DH wouldn't propose (officially) until he could do it 'right' and get me a ring but he couldn't afford one. I refused to discuss a future marriage unless I was 'officially' engaged (officially means that my husband said "will you marry me?" - the ring didn't matter).

So, finally, hubby asked me to marry him because I would not discuss our future otherwise... then I went on QVC or HSN (can't remember which one now) and found me a beautiful sterling silver ring with CZs that became my 'engagement ring' for about $40 and then I added a solid white gold eternity band with CZs for about $100. These are what my husband put on my finger when we married. They are still what I wear everyday.

Maybe someday when I win the lottery I will get the real thing... or maybe not.

It makes me really sad you

It makes me really sad you cannot have your dream ring yet! Hopefully SOON though! I know I can't wait to officially get mine! Other than Steperg...what girl seriously is not super excited about "THE RING?" Come on! Just like someone else mentioned - are you SURE she is not your BM? I have noticed nothing but negative's coming from her in a lot of her responses. What is the issue?

I think maybe you two should also look into getting the CS lowered. That seems a bit high to me. But - back to the ring - that is an amazing idea thewife came up with!!!!! Maybe another family member has a mismatched earring? GOOD LUCK!

..and here! I forgot to add

..and here! I forgot to add this:

www.ziamonds.com - they look real - trust me!

Ugh, I thought we got past

Ugh, I thought we got past all this nastiness... wishful thinking I suppose. Let's just ask her....

Steperg... are you namaste's BM?

Namaste- I am sorry to hear about your finacial stresses. So many of us are going through this right now. I can imagine the disappointment you felt when you had to give it up. {{{HUGS}}}

I think these ladies have had some fabulous suggestions. CZ, pawn shop... whatever, as long as it comes from the heart, you can always upgrade later. Just make sure the fake one isn't SO fabulous that it will take winning the lottery to get a real one that won't make people look at you funny when you replace it... eh... on the other hand WHO CARES what people think. Hang in there girl... this too shall pass!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

You are here

Gave up something that would make me happy, so everyone else can be.

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