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Adjusting to possible full-time SD

noidea1010's picture

Submitted by noidea1010 on Fri, 03/14/2014 - 4:35pm

I feel horrible, because I'm having a hard time adjusting to having SD full time. Granted it's temporary at this point, custody case is still to come. However, SO has had her full time for 4 weeks now.

She drives me insane! I'm thrilled to still have my own place to escape to and hang out with my dog. I don't even want SO to come over and hang out. I am also going through a grieving process, which I've never actually had to include one person in, let alone two. One of them a 13 year old immature girl.

She's usually not that bad, your typical 13 year old. She's been wanting to do a lot more things like me since she's been with us full-time. Which is better then wanting to be like her mom, but it's...weird...

Has anyone else had to go through a transition like this?

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canigetabm's picture

Submitted by canigetabm on Fri, 03/14/2014 - 6:56pm

Yes and I can't stand it. She drives me insane and I have no privacy. She is with us 24/7 and I rarely get to escape even when my bs is at his BFs. It sucks royally.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Sat, 03/15/2014 - 11:35am

Yea, I'm a little jealous of that myself, lol. Wish I had a separate house to go to. I mean, I can always go hang out with friends. Like, this afternoon I'll be going to play scrabble with my friend up the road, and I'm working on organizing a crochet day with some other friends. But, it's gotten incredibly difficult to go out and do things on the rare occasions that I want to because FDH's car is dead and he's doing nothing towards fixing it so he HAS to use my car to get to work :/

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Sat, 03/15/2014 - 11:34am

Sort of. Over the past four months or so, I've had to get used to SD being here every other month. In the past, she was only with us EOWE when we lived in NJ and then one week and one month during the year our first year in PGH. And now, even though I'm not completely adjusted to the every other month yet, I have to adjust to SD being here for an untold amount of time until she finishes her entire 8th grade school year all because she's lazy when she's at GUBM's and GUBM doesn't prod her to do schoolwork because she sort of wants SD to fail so she can flaunt it in FDH's face that cyber school was a bad idea.

I'm used to just being alone on the weekends, but, now, SD is here. Right now it's not so much of an upheaval because she has to do schoolwork 7 days a week since she completely dropped the ball when she was at GUBM's, but, I feel like I can't just do my own thing whenever I want anymore. And SD has this strange notion ingrained in her mind that FDH and I exist solely to buy her things and entertain her when she's "bored." Of course, I told FDH last night that from here on out, when SD tells me she's bored, she's getting a chore. Because if she can't think of something, ANYTHING to do besides whine about being bored, then she's going to get put to work.

And then there is what my best friend refers to as FDH's santa complex. He gives SD stuff all the time - and 90% of the time, it's MY stuff that he's giving to her! The past week it's been nearly every day that I've found out he has given her something of mine. And I'm growing tired of that. Even if she were my biological kid, there's no reason why he should be freely giving her my stuff.