so sick and tired of DH!
I am really getting sooo fed up with DH! His kids are at my house every weekend/schoolvacay and now it happens that they just come in the weekend and stay the whole week! Last time SS stayed for almost 3 weeks at my house! That means 1 more mouth to feed for 3 whole weeks while SD was at BM. My issue is that his SS stayed here for 3 weeks and DH still pays BM the full amount of cs for both his kids. I told DH this has to change; we have so much extra costs with SS here (he eats so much!!) and BM still gets the whole cs! He won't hear of it! Aaarrrgghh I explain to him that its taking a toll on us financially but still he just gets mad and yells at me! How dare he! You let your kids come over here, giving us extra costs, they disrespect me badly and you go off to work and I'm stuck with your freaking brats!! I can't remember the last time I had a nice weekend/schoolvacay with just my kids! I hate that he gets mad every time I bring it up and I'm ready to throw him out! He's very bad at managing money; he spents most of it treating all kids (including mine and our bd) at fastfood places. I told him to stop doing that. You get your salary, pay your bills and with what's leftover you can have fun and try to save some. That's how I do it. To bad that I always end up paying all bills cause he spent all his money and with his tips he makes sure that first of all BM gets paid her cs (full!) And maybe he will spents some of his tips for our household. He always puts her needs first before this household! Why why why?? She doesn't even has her kids most of the time cause they are at my house eating all my food and playing ps3 the whole damn day! What can I do to make Dh see what stress he's causing??
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OMG I swear we have the same
OMG I swear we have the same problem! I have been with DH now 7 years. Let me just say that I learned that the best way to speak to them is to be calm and not blow a fuse, because trust me they shut down. Also give them a dose of their own medicine. If you have no kids with him, maybe it's just best to leave because trust me things don't always get better. My situation is better is it ideal no. Did I have to go through a lot to make him see what he was doing yes. You know how I fixed the Fast Food problem? I cook. I don't give options or choices I cook, before anyone says I am hungry I make lunch and dinner. My SS11 is a monster when it comes to eating, he only likes to eat outside. I make sure he has stuff at home, and trust me I feel like he his BM doesn't feed him and when he comes over he has to make up for it.
In the early years, GG was
In the early years, GG was paying his ENTIRE salary to the Behemoth, expecting me to cover the bills forever and all expenses associated with his three "angels" coming EVERY weekend. That was a joy! I should have dumped him then and there and he would have gone skulking back to the Behemoth! He had ZERO problem with me paying all the bills and him giving EVERY.LAST.CENT to the Behemoth! When I protested after SIX MONTHS of the crap, he got angry at ME saying I was SELFISH!! Just b/c the Behemoth had brainwashed him into thinking he OWED her all of his wages for the rest of his life and it was some sort of PENANCE I was required to pay since GG was not divorced when I started seeing him. In fact I'm convinced of this over the last very long eight years that I am, according to GG, to be forever self sacrificing as I will never "pay" enough for the grevious sin of being a single woman who gave in to the advances of a married man.
Maybe i should do just that!
Maybe i should do just that! not paying cable etc. See what'll happen! Yesterday again i brought up the topic about this and again he gets mad at me! I don't get it! All my slary is gone and I'm using my savings for basic stuff like food and gas! Dh still doesn't let me know when his kids are coming. he never asks me if I have plans or anything; yesterday I come home from work (skids finally went to Bm's house the day before yesterday) and here they are yet again!! i planned to have a nice relaxing movienight with just my kids (DH works nightshift) but noooooo! Skids are at my house rolling their eyes as I walk into MY house looking at me like: oh the bitch is home. (DH left 10 minutes ago to go work). I hate this crap! I am soooo freaking fed-up with all this! I sent DH a msg about how i'm tired of all this, he never discusses anything with me about his kids coming over, i told him again about the financial strain it has on us and what happens.... he gets mad at me yet again!! He said that if I have a problem with his kids I have a problem with him! I told him that's exactly my point moron! It's you I have a problem with! You never taught your kids to be respectful of me, you put BM's and skids needs before mine, you expect me to babysit your kids while you work and BM is hanging out with her girls having fun and i'm stuck with you're kids!
I don't know what else i can do to make him realize the damage he caused by his "guilty daddy" behaviour.