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O/T dh is a horrible communicator!

onstrike's picture

I am so frustrated with Dh. He agrees to do something and then "forgets" and schedules something else to do instead. He tries to say that we talked about it,but I swear, I am so thorough and have a great memory. Dh is full of crap. Horrible communicator. What would you do in my shoes? What would help? I have thought of writing every single thing down that he agrees to do on the calendar. That way he can't pull this b.s.!

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moeilijk's picture

Ok, I'm going to assume you're married to my DH. He will ask me what we're doing on the weekend, 5 times because the other 4 times have slipped his mind. When I tell him (finally) to check his calendar, he's got the appointment there too... he says, yeah, but I know you just know.

This is somehow the same man who *forgot* to mention that our neighbour died. I was saying something about I wonder where the neighbours are moving too, since their place is for sale. He say, Oh, she died. I said... what?? When? We should send a card, she was very nice. He says, A few months ago. I told you about it. Ummmmm Nope, he didn't mention it. Because I *DO* remember everything.

So the things he forgets like about the neighbour - I'm just SOL. I do ask specific questions about his day more often... but usually I get the work-report. But that's ok, it's more important to him than the neighbours!

The little things he forgets and then double-books himself or drives me nuts asking about? I *always* send him an invitation for anything I expect him to do/be present for. If he double-books, I tell him - I think you already have something planned. I guess you have to cancel whatever invitation you accepted last. (Sometimes I will help him out, but only if convenient... I hate it when plans change at the last minute, and for me, the last minute is less than 3-4 days!)

And his driving me nuts - sometimes I get a little irritated and ask him - sheesh, what's going on that you can't remember anything for more than 2 minutes? Are you stressed? Over-tired? Because this is really annoying - it's like, you can't take care of yourself when you get like this!