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Overwhelmed in Texas's Blog

Let's start a story.....anyone want to help?

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Once upon a time there was a lovely lady who met a handsome man...they fell in love and they married....everything seemed like it was going so well...they had so much fun together. One day there was a knock at the door and the lovely lady opened the door and there were two small children standing there. They were beautiful children, with big round innocent eyes and soft hair and as she gazed upon them she felt like they looked familiar... the boy child had a note pinned to his shirt..she reached down and took the note and read it...

I have a confession....

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I knew this is two blogs in one night...but as I was sitting here thinking about how I feel and why I don't leave, I think I know why....I think if I leave him, that he will go back to his ex-....i know it may sound crazy, but they were married for 18 years and had 6 kids, then she decided she wanted a divorce...he fought it, but she divorced him. I have always felt like the mistress and that she was still his wife, she is still the wife and mother of his children.

I feel like an outsider in my own home....

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When my kids aren't here, and his are, it feels like they take over the house. There are so many of them and they fall into their routine and do whatever they want while most of the time dad is in his office on the computer, and Bio Mom is always hovering nearby...she doesn't actually live near us, but she is here as much as if she had a room in our house, she emails the kids and calls the kids constantly.

I'm hiding....

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I'm hiding in the bedroom, I'm pretending to take a nap...shhhh..cause if everyone figures out I'm really awake they will be all over me. This is the only way I can get a little peace, right now my wonderful strong managerial husband is out hiding himself too, except he hides in his office behind the computer screen, meanwhile the kids are running haphazardly through the house and it is a wreck..but I am determined not to go out there...if its a mess so be it...its his turn to run things and if everything is falling apart...i'm not responsible...right?

Advice given to me...

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I've been talking to a counselor on and off to try and help me figure out, not so much how to deal with the situation I'm in, but how I got into it in the first place....

Anyway, one of the things I have a tendency to do, which based on some of the blogs I've been reading, I'm not the only one....is to do too much or feel guilty about not doing enough to the point of exhaustion.

Help!

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This isn't really a step issue, but a divorced dealing with my own ex and the kids issues. Its a bit long to explain, but I could sure use some good advice.

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