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How Common Is This

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Submitted by paul_in_utah on Fri, 03/11/2022 - 8:18am

The situation:  single male, NO KIDS, financially stable opens his home up to a single mom and her troubled kids.  Said mom and said kids move in rent-free, pay no bills, and make very minimal efforts to keep up the house.  

This is, of course, my situation, and this is, of course, the sweet deal that my SO has.  Yes I know it's unfair, and yes I know they should be paying some of the bills and doing housework.  But my question is this:  is this a very common offer for a man to make?  Do any of the women on here benefit from a similar deal?

Visit went well, but....

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Submitted by paul_in_utah on Tue, 12/07/2021 - 11:10am

Good day, fellow S'talkers,

Last time I posted, my SO had finally decided to come see me while I am working away from home.  She had previously used the excuse of her "part-time" job to beg off from my invitations, but she eventually relented and came to visit week before last.  The visit went pretty well, we got along the whole time.  We managed to spend some time together (we were both working parts of the time she was here, so that wasn't ideal, but was not her fault).  Her narc tendencies were dialed down as well, so that was nice too.

I think SO realized that she was overplaying her hand

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Submitted by paul_in_utah on Mon, 11/22/2021 - 10:46am

Because she finally offered to come visit me on my assignment. From what I can tell, the offer was sincere, and doesn't sound like she did it grudgingly.  She's staying for several days, so maybe she is backing off from her power play of rationing time and attention, at least to some degree.  Interested to see how it goes.

SO already laying the groundwork

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Submitted by paul_in_utah on Fri, 11/19/2021 - 12:29pm

to ice me out when SOD (Significant Other Daughter) gives birth to SOD-GD (Significant Other-Grand Daughter).  I get it, she will want to spend time with SOD and help her with the baby, but she is already talking about how unpredictable babies are, and how they "don't just stay on a schedule."  I get the idea, I'm not an idiot, but I kind of thought that SO would maybe put some boundries up, such as only helping on her days off work, etc.  However, she is making it sound like she will be on call 24/7, and will be bouncing back and forth from our home to SOD's apartment to dote on the the ba

Update on Christmas Plans

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Submitted by paul_in_utah on Thu, 11/18/2021 - 4:24pm

G'day, 

As a quick reminder, I am in a relationship with a covert narc SO, who has been rationing attention and sex lately.  I posted a request for ideas on how to handle Christmas, since that is the one thing currently on the horizon where I can express my hurt feelings with how I shop.  There were a lot of good ideas, here is where I am leaning at the moment:

SO:  Buy an inexpensive pair of earrings, and give her an Christmas Card with an "IOU" inside.  IOU is good to come see me on any of my field assignments, all expenses paid including a daily stipend.  

Need Christmas Advice

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Submitted by paul_in_utah on Mon, 11/15/2021 - 9:44am

G'day Stalkers, long-time no post.  Looking for some advice.

But FIRST-------

I don't need to hear "Run!" or "Leave her!" or "You deserve better!"  

I know all of that.  I know that I am in a shitty situation, and know I am being treated unfairly.  But that is a post for another day.  I am looking for some steps I can take to build even minimal boundries with my SO.  Here is the cast of characters and basic set-up:

SO = Significant Other, my live-in girlfriend.

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