I need help with navigating through this family as a stepmom to adult step kids. It's mainly my stepdaughter. . I've been married to her dad for 8 years. She runs hot and cold she's passive aggressive and I just feel like an outsider. I've talked to husband he just says she likes you. She lost her mom at 20. I never try to replace her mom. She has kids but it's always known that I'm not the real grandma. It's just uncomfortable. I can't directly talk to her she's passive aggressive. She makes back handed comments. I need help I dread events bdays holidays . I love my husband.