I recently posted that when my SS11 left my home for custodial time with BM 10$ was missing. Well I did ask my SS11 about it over the phone and he said he had no idea what happened to the money... OF COURSE. Well two days past and I get a voicemail from BM that SS11 is upset and afraid to come back to our home because he is afraid I don't believe him about the money and that he was going to be in trouble. OKAY, if that is not a guilty conscience, I don't know what is. Anyways, I responded to BM by text because I wasn't in the mood to call her since I was exhausted already dealing with my BD3 who has had an ear infection for a week. I told BM that SS11 was not in trouble for the missing $ because I had no way of knowing if he took the money FOR SURE, (but I know he took it) and that he was in fact in trouble for lying to me when I had originally asked him how much money he had for the week, and he made up some elaborate story as to why he only had 2$ in his wallet, when in fact he had 35$. ??? confused? me too. Anyways, I made it clear that SS11 would be in trouble when he returned for lying, but not for stealing.
BM said she could understand why he would be in trouble for lying, and then she went on to explain to me all the reasons the kid lied. I could care less why he is lying. He has been told on so many occassions and in so many ways why lying is not acceptable and why it absolutely will not be tolerated in our home, yet he continues to lie constantly. So after BM kept telling me why her son lies to me, I let her know that I didn't care why he was lying, I don't think she should justify this negative behavior. She went on to tell me that she understands and I thought it would be left at that. But it kept going and going and going, finally BM got rude & I seriously lost it. I am usually very polite and nod my head with a smile but I just couldn't take it anymore. For years she has gotten away with putting me down, being rude, excusing her son's rude and vial behaviors and I was OVER IT! Seriously, the texting went on for two hours..(which I know is ridiculous and I should have just called her)so she proceeded to tell me that parenting is difficult and step parenting is even more difficult and that she knows exactly where I come from because she too has been in 3 long term relationships with different men whom have all had children as well, and she experienced "step-parenting" too. She tells me I am "over zealous" as a step-mom... well she has never been married to anyone, not to mention these random men whom she has lived with and moved her son into and out of their homes and lives repeatidly over the last 8 years. 3 different men, 3 different sets of kids and she is currently single living by herself with SS11. This is NOTHING like what I have done for her son over the last 8 years. NOTHING! I have been married to my husband for 8 years. I have been the one taking her kid to the doctor, the dentist, Kindergarten thru 6th grade. been to every performance, every activity, every conference etc. all the while she was off "having car trouble" etc. She tries to tell me that her experiences are just like mine and that she knows what being a step-parent is like, and then she texted me " but I never struggled with it the way you do" OOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhh, I was pissed and I told her that "a shack up is not a marriage, and she has no idea what it is like for me or what I am working for in my home". I know I crossed the line and this was below the belt. Now, everything is a mess and I am SO LOST! I just want them both to take a really long vacation and come back in a year or two. help.