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Do you deal with liars?

Skidmom1's picture

We have having a lot of trouble with SD who is 17 and lying. We have 50/50 with BM. Problem is BM is a huge liar as well. No surprise that this is where SD learned it!

How do you handle lying? We are trying to build trust but DH and I are in the middle of two liars!!

Need some advice on 17SD with 'tude!

Skidmom1's picture

My 17 SD decided several months ago to totally Dad and me out of her life because she didn’t like that we had rules and that the world just revolve around her. We had her 50% of the time. She started dating a senior boy and didn’t like that we had appropriate rules in place. Dad would try to keep in contact with her via text, phone, etc and she wouldn’t respond. BioMom of course loved all these because she had a bad relationship with her Dad and doesn’t want her daughter to have loving parents on both sides.

I'm not jealous......

Skidmom1's picture

Okay this is going to sound like I am jealous of my skid, but I am honestly not. We have a great relationship and I feel blessed to be a part of life. My issue is that I feel like DH either ignores or pays so much more attention to skid that I feel like an outsider. Case in point, we go out to eat for skid's birthday and bring my mom along. My mom adores skid and they also have a great relationship. Pretty much during the entire dinner, DH is just addressing the conversation to skid.

To gift or not to gift....that is the question....

Skidmom1's picture

I have seen a lot of posts on whether Step Moms with no bio-kids should receive a gift for Mother's Day. My feelings are if you are an active "parent" in your family then you should be acknowledged. It's the same for Father's Day. Since I have no bio children, my DH is not the father of my children, but I still try to make it special for him and take the SD (15) shopping for her dad.

Am i crazy.......

Skidmom1's picture

Long story short.....we have been battling with BM for months on changing decree to 50/50 time. She has been dragging her feet on signing anything and constantly has changes to prevent anything from being final. FINALLY we were able to sign off after having to agree to 7 days on/7 days off instead of the Mon-Tuesday, Wed-Thurs and every other weekend that we have been doing without the final decree being signed AND paying the full child support since early Spring.

Somedays I feel this is not what I signed up for...

Skidmom1's picture

Today is just one of those days that you question if you really are in the right place in your life. SD is 14 and we have had on/off issues with PAS with BM ever since I have met DH. They were long since divorced and BM was on husband #2 when I came in the picture. In 2011 we had MAJOR issues with PAS to the point that SD wanted nothing to do with SD. The 3 of them went to counseling and SD was lying about some much. It absolutely crushed DH. He was a mess because his greatest fear was losing SD and that came to fruition.

done...Done....DONE

Skidmom1's picture

Ugh!!! Sorry this is so long!! So we went through parent alienation back in 2011. SD didn’t want anything to do with DH. He still maintained a presence in her life, didn’t bad mouth her BM and we prayed that she would see how things with her BM really were. Things really started turning around in 2012. We have always said we want her to be happy in both places. She is not a prize to be won…...but a gift that we cherish. So things started breaking down between her and the BM late last year. SD expressed an interest that she wanted to be with us at least 50% of the time if not more.

Reasonable Call/Texts

Skidmom1's picture

We are in the process of changing the post decree and I have question if any of you recently have addressed texting and phone calls between BM and children? SD is going to be 14 and is with us 50% of the time. BM knows she can call us (home or cell) and we will make sure the call is returned. Unfortunately that doesn't happen when DH tries to call SD at BM home.

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