I had another big incident this afternoon with ss15. I asked him why he had turned down my bs's help to clean up the boat. Then I asked him if he did a good enough job. He said "I did the best I could" I said, "wow that really takes the heat off if it so happens that you didn't do a good enough job", well "I did the best I could" will get him off the hook every time with his dad. He slammed his bedroom door in my face, it would have not hit me but the trim popped off and the door swung through and hit me in the shoulder. He literally slammed it that hard. I told him to just leave and call his dad to pick him up from where ever he goes to. He stormed out and proceeded to slam the already broken screen door that he broke a few days ago. (he's a door slammer, can you tell?)

I went into his room and took out the expensive $800 computer that I bought him last winter. He is going to know that if he treats me crappy then he loses everything I'v provide(d) which is food, cell phone and computer.

Later my dh comes home (w/o ss but he'd heard ss's side of the story) and we talked (heatedly at first) but then we actually got to the point where I explained I was able to divorce my XH who treated me like shit, and though I cannot "divorce" ss, I can require a few things, first requirement is that ss15 gets serious professional counseling, not just the school brand-name counselling. DH actually agreed to it and he thinks it'll help. DH really does not want to lose me, we have come too far to have a spoiled little 15 yr old try to break us apart.

Then Dh went and picked up ss15 and took him to the boat and they cleaned it (and had a long talk). Just a little while ago ss15 came into the house and said sorry to me and I accepted his apology. He left for football practice, and then DH started telling me what he'd told his son; that ss cannot and will not break our marriage up, it just won't happen, he is to get counselling and he is to understand that even though I am not his mom, I AM an adult in his life he needs to respect and not treat me badly - no matter what. Also that even tho (again) I am not his mom, (ss is adament he does not ever want a mom again not even a step mom b/c bm was absolutely horrible to this child while he was younger always yelling at him and slapping him around and even locking him into his bedroom for hours) he needs to listen to me and do things I ask him to do.

So now ss15 has lost his computer and DH removed his bedroom door for a week. He was warned that if this happens again he will lose his cell phone as well, and if he keeps it up he will keep losing priviledges and ability to play football. The lose of football was the winner b/c ss lives for his sports.

So we made progress not only with ss but in our marriage b/c DH hugged me and told me this is his third try at having a life with a wife he loves, he's found the one he wants to spend his life with and though he loves his kids, they're moving out in a few years and they don't warm the bed at night! Awww!!

I just feel like for the first time we have made a break through together as a married couple to be a solid team to raise our kids. It's damn hard and I know you all know that it's hard so I thought sharing a good story might be nice for a change!