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What do we do???

str8_trippin's picture

It has been months since we have seen or heard from SS. We are not even sure where he is staying right now. DH has tried calling BB, texting, to no avail. She refuses to talk to us, or let SS call. Here is a little rundown: in the past 6 years BB has moved/crashed with friends nealy 20x. 15 different jobs-currently bartending. Nearly 10 different lovers/soulmates. SS has been to 4 schools, one of them 3 seperate times b/c she keeps moving in at her mothers(who btw is a lunatic) BB and her mom have a highly volatile relationship, and she has gotten kicked out of there more times than you can shake a stick at. All SS knows is domestic dispute situations due to BB irratic behavior. Whether it is his GM or one of her numerous BF's, he always gets to witness hostility.
Last december she got kicked out of her mom's again, leaving SS behind(like always) and stayed with some drugged out loser years younger than her, until she got her apt. Which btw is located in a part of town notorious for drugs, crime, prostituion, sex offenders,etc. But that is where all the tatooed/pierced freaky people reside! And she has aspired to be a part of that lifestyle. Nevermind SS well being. We are talking about one of the worst places to take a kid, much less raise one. Anyway come march, she has been evicted-somehow our fault. Back at her moms.
SS was unable to attend his brothers b-day, b/c I am not allowed to pick him up anymore? According to his GM. His father needs to do it. Control freak much? Yet whenever it was convenient for them, I bent over backwards to accomodate SS's transportation and care. Hubby has a disability due to back injury, and he is supposed to drive 70+ miles two ways? What ever will she do when he is unable to work and pay her precious drug money???
So last week I was talking to a good friend of mine, who asked how SS was doing. I told her I had no clue, that I'm not even sure where he is staying. She replies, oh yeah? Well I can tell you whre BB has been! The week before she was spotted in front of her bar, wasted out of her mind, drooling and stumbling while some drunken man was attempting to hold her up. Great. So while she is out getting trashed, SS is God knows where (while he should be with a stable family-US!!!!)
So I am livid. I decided to check out her myspace, to try and find something, anything, a pic of SS...We just miss him so much. Turns out she has more pics of alcohol than her own child. And this blog:

Friday, July 20, 2007

so i am moving again... i am not really sure how to feel about this. excited or scared. i hate the actual moving part. packing, shucking and sealing my things in boxes. then lifting heavy objects that are three times my size. this is no fun. but then unpacking and setting up shop is. i am excited to be out on my own again, i am my favorite person. i am always able to depend on myself. except of course days like this, where i am suffering self inflicted punishment in the form of a hefty hang over due to excessive drinking. alcohol never solves anything. especially when i end up getting pissed and walking halfway home at 230 am. but this is besides the point. i have two places in mind right now. i might be couch surfing till i find the one i want. till then i will be content with my decision and even more once the dust settles.

WTF??? Are you kidding me? Couch surfing at 30? I'm assuming she is leaving SS behind, yet again. All this poor kid wants is a normal life, and she has refused to provide any kind of stability for him. My DH is at a loss, my son misses him more than words can say. We do not have the means right now to drag her to court. Is there anything we can do??? I am anxious ridden and have trouble sleeping b/c I worry so much about him. Please, please if anyone has any advice, I am all ears.

Comments

str8_trippin's picture

Anyone at all???
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha

Sebbie's picture

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

There are no two ways about it. And of course that is going to take money as retaining an attorney to return to court is expensive. Btw I certainly hope your dh is documenting every move, every testimony of her being witnessed intoxicated out in public, the school transfers of ss,what his grades look like because of all the moving to and fro.Further it will require money as well but I would check into get a court appointed gal to get involved. Right at this point the only legal action your dh can take is the same one mine is taking and that is taking bm back to court for modifications in custody and a decrease in child support..But the more documentation you have agiants her the better your dh is gonna come out on this whole situation. Consult with an attorney.. Best of luck to you.

str8_trippin's picture

what I figured. *gulps* I am really on the fence when it comes to legal issues, as I have heard some horror stories. But you are right. Laywers are a necessity when it comes down to dealing with people who are unreasonable, irrational even just plain mention criminal. It seriously is like these women have no concept of what a conscience is for. Just really sad that it has come down to this. I am sure we could prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that PAS has a lot to do with this situation. I just hope that the system can recognize that enough to work out in our favor. Thank you for the response!

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha

Cruella's picture

Is disturbing in all levels. DH has a right to see his son. This boy is going to end up on drugs like his Mom. You do need to seek a Lawyer but I know how hard that is. For a simple CS modification it has cost us about 4 thousand. I know this is a stupid question and I hate to go here but how about CPS?

str8_trippin's picture

Nearly 4 years ago. BB kept getting kicked out of her mothers and GM kept SS from her. She had several warrants out at the time, and a cop friend of mine told me that she had been arrested for theft that same year.2003. They used to take him out on school nights to repo cars(GM is in that industry)All kinds of other crazy, dangerous situations...I told DH enough, already! Call CPS! They interviewed SS in school, and went to their home, but couldn't see any bruises, or signs of PHYSICAL abuse. BB and her mother are master manipulators, they know how to work the system...
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha

Anne 8102's picture

He needs to consult an attorney to see about enforcing his rights with his child. And they myspace stuff... I'd print it out and save it for ammo.

~ Anne ~

"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there." ...Anonymous

str8_trippin's picture

I printed that and numerous other crap out. Comments like let's get f'd up this weekend! From her friends...It's a damn shame when friends take precedence over your own child.
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha

stanfordcarson's picture

Good info!!