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Regret Steplife - vent

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Submitted by StrawberryPie on Fri, 05/20/2022 - 9:11pm

After almost 6 years of marriage to DH, making me a stepmom to SS28, SD20, SS16 with 2 BMs (1 a wonderful lady, the other a complete nightmare HCBM), I can honestly say, I am not cut out for this.  I absolutely hate being powerless in my own home.  I hate having some nightmarish BM inject drama and chaos in my life - just because she feels like it.  There are so many little and big things I don't like about step life, but the core of it, I absolutely hate the HCBM and how my DH doesn't put her in her place.  I hate being second to some other woman. 

Steptalk Feedback

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Submitted by StrawberryPie on Mon, 11/08/2021 - 12:22pm

Hi Steptalkers!  

I could use your advice and feedback.  (Background:  my DH and I have been married 4 years.  SS27, SD19, SS15. I have no kids.)

My SS27 has asked for our TV, Netflix, HBO passwords. He is married and together they make close to $200K.  

In my family, this ask would never have occurred. Once you are an adult you support yourself.  My DH thinks - why not give it to him, no big deal.

Skid asked for downpayment

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Submitted by StrawberryPie on Thu, 10/22/2020 - 9:18am

Hi StepTalkers!

My DH got a surprising call last night and had to share.  Background:  my DH has 3 kids with 2 different BMs (what a joy for me).  Skids are SS26, SD18, and SS14.  The oldest is a delight (he has a different mom than the other two).  He got married 2 months ago and my DH and I paid for their wedding (gave them $$ which covered their wedding and then some so they could have spent it however they wanted to).

Wills and Survivorship

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Submitted by StrawberryPie on Tue, 09/08/2020 - 7:14am

My DH and I have been married for 4 yrs.  He has 3 kids from 2 BMs.  Skids are SS26, SD19, SS14.  The youngest two's BM is a very high conflict and a downright nightmare.  SD19 is now fully alienated.  Needless to say, steplife has not been a smooth or easy road.  Being childless, I am often the one who is on the receiving end of most of the downside of steplife and little (is there any?!) upside.

PAS successful with SD17. Need advice please

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Submitted by StrawberryPie on Sun, 02/23/2020 - 7:59pm

I don't even know how to start this.  It has been such a tough go of things.  But this week was the culmination of it all.  Like many of us on here, the BM is a real piece of work.  Very high conflict, filled with bitterness and hatred toward my DH, and then consequently me - only because I married him (she got remarried before my DH and I were dating so I would have thought she moved on, but omg the bitterness is unreal).  It got so bad last year, I finally, got a stalking order against her.  Needless to say, it was very bad. 

Sending Skids over to a flu infected home

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Submitted by StrawberryPie on Wed, 02/12/2020 - 4:35pm

Been married to my DH for 3 years and have SD17 and SS14.  BM has been a big pain (long list that I won't get into) but also thinks she is Mother of the Year.  

She is the custodial parent and per the schedule the kids are supposed to be over tomorrow.  However, my DH informed BM I have the flu (despite getting a flu shot) and that may not be a good idea exposing the kids to it (neither got the flu shot).

And of course, she plans on sending the kids over.  Who does that?!  

BM refuses to let SS13 use his phone that DH got him

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Submitted by StrawberryPie on Tue, 07/02/2019 - 7:56am

Hi,

Some background:  I have been married to DH for 3 years.  He has a 2 kids -- SD17 and SS13.  BM has been a nightmare - I have a stalking order against her and my DH blocked her about a month ago based on the level of profanity / aggression in her texts. 

She has made it very clear she does not like that my DH blocked her (multiple emails about 'this would be easier if I could text', 'your son wants to talk to you' (even though DH and SS13 rarely talked on BMs phone.  DH would call SD17 to talk to SS13 or use apps on the computer)).