JUST A QUICK RANT:
Not sure if its because I'm pregnant, but I seriously 'despise' my SO's son.
Its no wonder his mother isnt in his life. No wonder her husband doesnt allow him to their home.
I do not like to think or wish bad things on ANYONE, but he makes it almost impossible not to.
Everything he does: walks, talks, eats, cleans, stands, dresses.. EVERYTHING
Needed to get that out.
- TheRealHouseWife's blog
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I went back and read your
I went back and read your previous blogs to remind myself of your situation. OMG! As a veteran SM 27 years in the game and the C-PTSD to show for it, I know the impacts of living with feral unparented kids and a chicken shit father.
Are you able to get an apartmernt for yourself and tell your SO that you're putting your relationship on hold until he can have his actions match his words consistently for at least 6 months (or whatever timeframe you want)? Or to keep your pregnant self and then baby in a clean and stress-free environment?
Your SO is blowing sunshine because he's doing it to buy time. If he throws you crumbs of bullshit, you won't leave right away. He'll fool you into thinking that he intends change and you won't leave and in the meantime he gets to do what he wants (or doesn't want, which is parenting). It's cycle. Are you able to get a place or go stay with someone and tell your SO that the jig is up? You're out until his actions consistently match his words for X amount of time and whatever concrete changes you need to see. Be specific about what changes you need to see that would serve as concrete evidence that your SO is doing the work. Tell him that as long as he remains inert you feel like your comfort does not matter to him and you are not important enough to be made comfortable.
Hate to start on this
And we all are guilty of it. Myself included. You knew he had a kid. He responsible for that kid. The kid isn't going away. You have to deal with it somehow. Adult only go away weekend every other month. Out to an adult only dinner once a week. Adult only vacation in the summer.
But now you are having your own bio Adult time is going to be limited.
The "you knew he had a kid"
The "you knew he had a kid" statement bothers me. Yes, we all knew our partners had kids- did we know those kids would be the way they are? No. Did many of us get sold a false bill of goods? Yes.
Its like the whole "Expectations V. Reality"
"SS is kind of shy. Sweet kid though." AKA "SS will refuse to socialize or engage in any sort of age appropriate activities and will cling to me like a leaf. When pushed outside of his comfort zone he will make up false aligations of abuse and refuse any accountabilit" .... yeah, real "sweet"
Its also difficult because many people with date their significant other for a long clip of time to ensure the relationship is serious before ever meeting the kids. By the time you meet the kids you're already invested in the relationship. It's all focused on making sure the kids are comfortable whilst not considering the couple.
"SS is pretty rambunctious
"SS is pretty rambunctious and wears his heart on his sleeve. He can be so sweet though!"
Means you're going to get ket kicked or spit on if you try to correct him at all.