Yes and he is ALWAYS amaaazing.

But I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEE him!

My wife is the most amazing woman and I lover her with all my heart.  Having made the misstep myself of not hashing this all out and not knowing warning signs, it caused almost 5 rollercoaster years and almost ruined our marriage.  I am now working through no longer feeling angry and resentful and finally we are working on building our marriage back.  It was close.  Btw they do NOT stop at 18, 19, 20.  If he or she cannot say no, set boundaries and treat the marriage as the center and not the kids then move on and let them grow old with the children they worship

No one should be mocking this or calling it "redundant". We all have individual problems with similar situations. Not ALL of these divorced dad's or mom's are bad spouses!!!! We are all human trying to figure out how the heck to handle these complicated blended family situations.

Think Thrice- I've been in your shoes and still kind of am... except everything you just said got better as time went on. Once the kids were grown he had no reason to have to take BM calls unless there was some sort of emergency with kids. We also fought constantly about the skids and BM. I can't lie- it wasn't pretty for awhile there and I didn't think we were going to make it. I've also been told "I'm the adult"-drives me nuts!!! But if you really truly love this man and believe he is the one I wouldn't give that up because of what you said above. Nothing is perfect and these blended family situations are not fun at all most of the time. I always tried to imagine life after the kids were grown and out of the house.. I thought about my life past the hard times we were currently in and knew that if I could get through this that eventually it would just be he and I and no more skids living with us or nagging ex-wife. It really does get better eventually and the drama will start to fade off. While things sucked during those hard times I don't regret my decision to marry my husband and certainly haven't lived a life of misery. I wouldn't throw in the towel quite yet.. just my outsider opinion!

You know that all is not roses.  He should not be jumping for the BM.  Not everything is for the chrildren. Big cop out.  You must understand that this will not change.  He will have BM do Co party's. For the kids. Coming over for Christmas ,for the kids.  Maybe sleep in the same room with BM when on vacation. O. For the kids.

i would make him change before you go any more Deeper in this relationship.  You do not need BM in your life.

Dont marry until you see changes from him.  But keep in mind you will always be second place, having to cancel plans you want cause of his kids, having BM drama just cause she dont like you,  if you guys marry having to worry about finances since he will have to pay CS , if he even wants more kids with you, and most of all if you do marry DO NOT be a doormat and set your boundaries from the start please!!!!