Wow kids are stubborn
Hey guys, this is not really a vent but more of learning about kids. I basically planned a romantic night for my SO food, dessert, wine and I wanted her kids to have an enjoyable Friday night once they are well behaved. But of course a child has to cause drama.
SO told her 13 yr old, I will refer to him as "K13" to scrub the bathroom but K13 got upset and had an attitude. My SO got upset and she cancelled K13's fun night. After K13 finished scrubbing the bathroom, I assumed he would have apologised to my SO. I assumed wrong. He didn't even attempt to even say sorry. I got irritated because at the end of the day that's your mom and you need to have respect. So I sent him to bed and told him when he is ready to apologise to SO you can come back out and also I did not want the night ruined. Normally I would be angry that he disrespected SO but decided to have a more calm approach. I went in the room and calmly explained to him why he was disrespectful. I started off by saying "part of growing up is admitting when you are wrong." If you know me and my journey with K13, you would give me a round of applause because he is frustrating.
After an hour he still did not come out to apologise and SO got even more upset and I was thinking what is wrong with K13. Anyways when I was about to throw in the towel, he comes out crying and grumbled an apology to SO. That made things worse as the apology didnt seem sincere and she sent him back to his room.
Sigh it is so simple, he ruined his entire night because he is stubborn, I just don't get it. Anyways, I still have my plan with SO. Next time hopefully K13 would just apologise and not be so stubborn.
- Trini868's blog
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Comments
I know you mean well, but
I know you mean well, but when you swoop in to take over parenting, you are giving the message to both of them that you don't think she can handle it. My DH does this to me with the dog (lol), and it irks me.
Let her handle her kid as she sees fit. You can help if she asks, but otherwise, if she feels an apology is necessary, she can insist on it. Especially as the stepfather (? don't know your gender), it sets up the dynamic that you are big meanie and she's weak Mom.
I know you are going to disagree with me, but so be it. She's the parent, she needs to handle the bulk of it, it will be better for everyone.
Thanks for your feedback. Any
Thanks for your feedback. Any questions I asked was not in front of K13 so it doesnt seem like I undermine her authority and ofc she is the BM, I let her handle situation as she sees fit. He definitely needed to apologise which he did. I just didn't understand why he was so stubborn to apologise to his mother. It took him hours to apologise!
Lol I hope your DH let you handle the dog lol
I don't think it's
I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing he stepped in. Sometimes it can be helpful. If one parent is angry and the other isn't. It's best for the calmer parent to address the behavior. In this situation is sounds like SKs respect SP which is a good thing.
Even when kids don't listen to an adult at that moment later on those things will have an impact on them.
See, I don't agree. I hate
See, I don't agree. I hate when my DH does this with me and the dog (only frame of reference I have). He's essentially saying that he has no faith that I can handle it, and taking over for me. If I ask him, then fine. Or if we've decided ahead of time that he'll step in, then fine.
I don't personally think stepparents should ever take over for the bio parent, it's not their role and it 1) enables weak parenting from the bio parent, and 2) make the stepparent the meanie who is resented by the kid.
I agree BM has every right to
I agree BM has every right to handle the discipline. However, questions can be asked and issues can be discussed not in front of the kids.