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SS being nicer to me and my husband is jealous?

winnie's picture

I dont get why SS is warming up to me of all people. This has been a strange day. He comes home early from school. He had a few hours before his friday night job starts at a restaurant. Annd he brought groceries. He usually buys just for himself and his daughter and occasionally buys things like milk and eggs for the household. But today, he went and bought me 3 cartons of my favourite vanilla Haagen Dazs ice cream. I buy this ice cream once every two months. I LOVE it. But I cant really afford it so I treat myself with it occasionally. I thought it was really nice of him and gave him a hug, which surprised me more than it surprised him.

And the day gets stranger. He takes out his camera and starts taking photos of his daughter like he always does. There must be hundred of photos right now. BUT, he invites me to hold my granddaughter while he's taking the pictures. He is actually smiling in my presence and is saying things like "Want to take a photo with grandmama?" This has been the first time he has acknowledged me as his baby's grandmother. I have to admit, I teared up a bit. He goes of to work and I tell my husband when he gets back. But now my husband is acting all pissy with me because SS is treating me better than him. SS has yet to have an actual conversation with my husband. As of now, there are two babies in this house, and only one of them is an actual baby. At least I can stop feeling stressed at SS's behaviour towards me. He actually said bye to me before leaving and that never happens. Maybe he realised I am so much nicer than is actual mom and I actually care that he does well. I hope it lasts.

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12yrstepmonster's picture

My counselor told me that skids usually always see the adults for what they are. The issues they create can be a coping mechanism in dealing with feelings that they don't know how to handle. What kid wants to admit that their smom is a better mom than their bio mom. What kid wants to admit that their NCP's house is a better place to be than the CP house.

I will tell you Winnie- I never disrespected my sdad growing up- we didn't know we had an option not to tolerate him in our lives. As a teen I introduced my mom and sdad as my parents. Or my sdad as my other dad. (after about 10 years of marriage).

But when he told me to bring my baby and come home when I was done with the marriage I was in.......

And he babysat for me and gave me a place to live and was my safety net- He became not a sdad, he truly became a dad to me.....He loaned me money when I needed (and I paid everything back) He didn't lecture me on my failures, but gave me the rope to pull myself back up. My mom was there too- so I don't want to make it sound like it was all one sided. But I KNEW she would be there- coming home as a mom opened my eyes.

and he was the VERY BEST grandpa.....

And as an adult I could handle the issues that arose that I felt like I was being disloyal to my bio dad. Those are hard feelings to deal with as an adult let alone trying to sort that out as a kid.