worst_stepmom_ever's Blog
Bracing myself to re-enter Step-hell
Wow, it's been 5 months since I wrote in here! I haven't been around ST much since, well, I haven't had to deal with SD/BM and so I haven't needed to vent! During the time my DH has been gone I've just worked on myself mentally and physically. I'm feeling a lot stronger and the distance has given me some clarity on the situation. I even traveled overseas by myself and had an amazing life-changing vacation while my DD7 was with her dad for Christmas.
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Feeling guilty that I feel less stressed with DH gone
DH left for work last week and thus ended my time with MIL and SD(4). I feel awful saying this since I love my DH, but honestly, I feel like I can breathe for the first time in a long time since he will be gone for several months. SD/BM are at the center of all of our problems and having SD for an extended period of time with MIL in the house made me feel like we were living in a fishbowl, having all of the bad parts of our relationship on display. Even within 48 hours I feel my mental health drastically improving, which makes me feel guilty. Why?
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To no one's surprise, all problems begin (and end) with the BM/BD
Well SD is back at our house. This time DH didn't give BM a lot of advance notice that he would be exercising the visitation, so there wasn't time to build up the visit as this awful thing. Also, we have not had SD contact BM at all during the visit.
Unsurprisingly, this has had an amazing effect on SD, and although she is still a brat (she literally threw the gifts that were given to her by MIL saying "I DON'T LIKE THAT") things are at least... tolerable.
And I thought things were going well
Well DH and I worked out our issues re: SD and I told him I'd support him in his fight to see her, even though it means playing BM's stupid games which aggravates me to no end and makes me feel like I come last in the relationship. Figured keep the peace and the rest will follow. So DH and I were having a fabulous night, made love, talked about our future plans, had apologizes go both ways...
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