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Kids with different visitation schedules

amy257's picture

Submitted by amy257 on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 4:56pm

Do any of have stepkids with different visitation schedules. FH and I don't know that SD11 really wants to be with us 50% of the time like court ordered. Have any of you made one child have a permanent living arrangement and the other kid keep a 50% joint custody living arrangement?

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Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 09/01/2009 - 6:52pm

Though a STalker poll someone put up a while ago showed that ~60% of STalkers thought the kid should have a say in visitation reality is that a Court Order is and Court Order and the Kid must comply just as the BioParents must comply with the custody/visitation order.

We only have one kid in our home, our Son (My SS). He has three fellow but younger out-of-wedlock half sibs by two other mothers who have some complex custody situations but those situations have no impact on him other than the SpermClan trying to align visitation schedules so that all of kids can be together on visitations.

So, no, I have no experience with two different Skids with different visitation schedules.

I would recommend that DH put his foot down for all concerned and hold his XW and the kids to the CO for visitation.

Just my thoughts of course.

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

now4teens's picture

Submitted by now4teens on Wed, 09/02/2009 - 4:28pm

I mean, WHY would her father be willing to give up custody so quickly if he weren't even 100% sure that she was unhappy?

Is there PAS going on with the BM? That could be the cause of her unhappiness at your house. And the experts would tell you, if parents want any hope of fighting PAS, you NEED to maintain the custody schedule at all costs.

But there could be more to the story. And the ONLY way you're going to find out is having her father have a long talk with her and get to the heart of her unhappiness.

Good luck.

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

amy257's picture

Submitted by amy257 on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 9:29am

He has tried talking with her and her nana has tried talking with her. She won't talk. We don't know what to do.

now4teens's picture

Submitted by now4teens on Fri, 09/04/2009 - 10:52am

have her keep coming. Maybe it's NOT you. it could be something else. Unless you hear from HER mouth saying, "I don't like it here and I don't want to be here," I'd have her keep coming.

What is she DOING in her actions that make you THINK she doesn't want to be at your house? I mean, my kids (both steps and bios) LIVE in their bedrooms and hardly come out unless it's to eat (or use the bathroom!)

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"