Dear BM:

1. You are 5'2" and weigh somewhere near 200 pounds...when I met you 10 years ago, you were probably closer to 130. Please take off the transformers movie t-shirt...you are almost 40 years old and you look stupid!!

2. I realize that your 15 yo daughter is a pain in the ass...i think so too. But, never in a million years would i say "you are a bitch" to a 15 year old girl. I can't believe you say that about your daughter. You have no class.

3. You are not a celebrity. Please do not compare our lives to that of Brad and Angie. I don't care how many kids they have, they can afford 10 nannies per kid.

4. Your daughter dresses innappropriately because you let her. It's your job to say "NO"

5. You've been married once, but had children with 2 different men that you have never been married to, you are with the dad of the 2nd child and still carry the other guy's last name what's that about?? Well...at least you don't have my DH's last name.

6.Please don't act like what you do is work. We all know you do not go on these "site visits" you sit around all day, watch tv, and take valium and somehow manage to draw a paycheck with the BS notes you send in to your boss.

7. I know I am the SM, but one day, your daughter will be grown and she will realize that you are an idiot and that I was the real mom...she's already starting to get there. Why else do you think she works so hard to get your negative attention?? :?

8. You don't have to have friends over at your house all the time...can't you be alone with your family?

9. If we ever got into a fist fight, I'd kick your ass. Not that I would stoop that low, but just so you know, I would win. (I may be too lady like to do it, but I can fantasize)

10. We have 2 years and 3 months until SD turns 18. That means we can finally stop sending you money for things you want instead of things she needs. The other kid is what...8 now? you better drop her dad and find a new guy to get prego by soon...I know you won't be able to make it without child support!