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KeepTrying's Blog

Things i would love to say to BM

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Dear BM:

1. You are 5'2" and weigh somewhere near 200 pounds...when I met you 10 years ago, you were probably closer to 130. Please take off the transformers movie t-shirt...you are almost 40 years old and you look stupid!!

2. I realize that your 15 yo daughter is a pain in the ass...i think so too. But, never in a million years would i say "you are a bitch" to a 15 year old girl. I can't believe you say that about your daughter. You have no class.

Note to DH

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DH,

I love you so very much. I love your daughter too. But, you know, BioParent or Step Parent, adults need to be with other adults sometimes and not talk about kids - period.

Sometimes, let's just be together and talk about what happend at work, and where we want to travel when we retire, and watch boring news shows that teenagers think are stupid. We don't ALWAYS have to talk about SD or her crazy mama.

Another Conversation with SD15

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SD: Hey SM, did you see the new apartments being built down the road?

Me: Yes, I'm sure the people that live in the neihborhood right behind them arent too happy about it.

SD: Several of my friends are moving in there

Me: Like who

SD: Suzy who lives one street behind us

Me: Why would Suzy's parents move out of their house into an apartment?

SD: No, not her parents, just her.

Me: She's 16

SD: So, it's not like she's really moving out, she's just going to be in an apartment about a mile away.

Random Tuesday Rant

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The guy that lives accross the street from me is a registered sex offender. I thought I had moved out to the burbs and was willing to deal with the country folk (I live in a small town just outside of Houston). He moved in about 5 months after us.
I saw the sale price on that house and have NO IDEA how this man affords that house. Not saying that I live in lap of luxury by any means, but he is an ex-con that lays tile floors and not sure what the mom does besides getting child support. Their household consists of:

Letter I'll Never Send

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Ok, so I've been on a diet and decided I needed some wine this weekend (2 months none)...damn it's good.

Letter I wish I could send to SD 15, but of course never will

Dear SD,

I was 21 when i met your dad, I expected some weekend sex and a few free dinners, never expected marriage. I fell in love with him so fast and knew we were meant for each other...that was 11 years ago. If I could meet 21 year old me today, I would tell her to run like hell!!!!

Years of Signs that I didn't see

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As I look back on my years with SD, now 15, I can't help but see the signs I should have seen back then.

Conversation with SD when she was about 7

SD: what are you doing?
ME: trimming my bangs
SD: why don't you go to the beauty shop?
ME: I don't have time, and it's just one little spot bothering me. But you know you are not allowed to cut your own hair right?
SD: Yes I know
ME: Are you sure you understand that? You are not allowed to cut your hair.
SD: I understand.

3 Hours Later

10 Things About Me - Unrelated to SKIDS - need a break sometimes

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1. When my step father is on his death bed, i'm going to go stand at his bedside and pray outloud that he goes to hell, God gave me my sense of humor...I think he'll forgive me. - (SF was physically abusive)

2. I love all dogs...I wish everyone else could accept my jumping, yapping, fuzzy kids - I never mind if your dog slobbers on or scratches me.

3. I love wine too much. Haven't had any in 2 months because i'm on a diet.

3. I refuse to wear yellow gold jewelry, never have liked it, I only wear white gold or silver

Conversations with SD - 15 - AKA CRAZY LAND

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Me: (in a whisper as we walk into the mall)"honey, you need to rub your makeup in a little on this side, you have a little line"

SD: Oh, ok...thanks...

Me: "I didn't hurt your feelings did I?" (very sincerely)

SD: No, of course not.

Fast Foward to a counseling appointment 6 months later.

Counselor: "SD, why don't you tell SM some of your concerns"

SD: "Sometimes you make me feel really bad about myself"

Me: "Honey, I would never want to do that. Can you give me an example?"