Spoiled ROTTEN
So here we are again at another B-day for my DH. I am always confused on what to do when it comes to holidays / b-days and the Skids. I have always felt that it should be my job to go shopping with the skids to get something for their dad / my DH and not the BM. When it is her B-day or what not, I think it should be her husband that takes the skids shopping for her. I dont like the idea of my DH shopping for his ex with the skids and same with the other way around. This has seamed to work in the past, but still sometimes they will come over the house with something that BM baught for them to give to their dad. The thing is, my 16 y.o. skid is so all-about-himself that I dont even think he knows his dads b-day is comming up, also his 12 y.o. brother is the same way. I just think its so awful that my DH basically gives them whatever they want and is always saying yes yes yes yes yes to them.. and they dont even think about him when it gets to be b-day time. I feel this is something that you teach your kids early on and he feels that its no big deal. I think it is so disrespectful. The thing is, they always come thru because I get soemthing and have them sign there name to it if we dont go shopping togethor. (which we useully dont) so DH thinks all is well. So this time around, do i do the same thing like every other year and RREMIND them that its there fathers b-day and ask if they have any ideas for gifts and anything they would like him to have and when they shrug and say idk.. do i go and get soemthing and have them sign it like always.. or just let it go and let my DH see how much the skids think of him. I hate to do that. I hate that they have such bad mannors and I have to be associated with them, when it wasnt me that raised them this way.
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Comments
At their age, they are old
At their age, they are old enough to take it upon themselves to remember DH's birthday and get him a small gift. If they need a ride to the mall, so be it, give them a ride, but leave the gift giving up to them. But BM shouldn't be doing that for them. It's one thing if they're 10 years old, but at least the 16 yo should have enough sense to remember his own father's birthday.
My fiance's kids are the
My fiance's kids are the same. They always remember mothers day, the BM's bday and her x-mas gift but do nothing for their dad who supports them 100%. It drives me nuts. This year I'm going to tell them that their behaviour is unnacceptable and that I would be driving them to the mall to get him a gift so they had better start saving their allowance that HE gives them, of course. If bm won't teach them some respect then I will!!!!
It would be great if they
It would be great if they remembered birthdays, certainly there are boys that have mastered this but a greater number of them that have not. I don't get worked up about this kind of thing. I would feel kind of funny about bm doing an annual buying trip. I do remind my kids when their bd's birthday is but they are getting better at knowing this because they visit him on this day. If they want to make him a card they can or give something they made from school or whatever. I don't go out and do a big shopping trip or anything with them. Last bday my dh did get a gift from his daughter that was brought on her visit but it was the kind of thing where they had gone to the dollar store and were told they could both by one thing and she said dad's birthday is coming up and chose of her own accord to use her dollar to buy something for him. Girls certainly seem to be better at the birthday stuff (as a rule).
I think they are old enough
I think they are old enough to know better. I would still do this for them, not really then but for him. Just becuz it will please your DH on his b-day.
That is an excellent point -
That is an excellent point - maybe they need a push or help, but it would make DH so happy!
_________________________________________________________
"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)DH's birthday is Christmas
DH's birthday is Christmas Day. Last year, we were in Louisiana with SD at MIL's for Christmas.
Did DH get a present, a card, a "Happy Birthday, Daddy!" from his almost-13-yr-old child? No. She *did* have $20 to throw at her cousin for fireworks though.
He shrugged. I was more offended on his behalf than he was.
We'll see what happens next year - probably more of the same.
~Trish
Thank you all so much for
Thank you all so much for the post. I love this web site.. its nice to know other people go thru the same things. You all have had great ideas / support on this topic. What I ended up doing was reminding them it was his B-day. They both said yeah they knew..which maybe they did, maybe they didn't..but non the less I asked them if there was something that they wanted to get him. The 12 y.o. had some ideas..which were terrible, but still he tried. And the 16 y.o. said, I cant think of anything because he already has everything. So just like every year (stamp a great big SUCKER sign on my head) I go to the store and pick out a card..they were not able to accompany me this time because of some schedule changes, and we had a limited time to do it this year.(useally they pick out the card and gift) so I pick out an appropriate card and got a 50.00 gift card to a store I know my DH loves. So.. on the next visit the skids were over the house I showed them the card, they liked it, and I showed them the gift. They signed the card and that was it. Today was the last day they would see their Bd before his birthday and today is also my DH's day off from work, so basically they had the entire day to spend with him while I was at work. So early afternoon my DH called me and just wanted to say hi, he was telling me about his day... no mention of getting a gift..so I didn't ask. Then I sent a text to my 16 y.o. Skid reminding him that the card is in his room for him to give to his dad. I was afraid they would forget..after all he usually only remembers things that have to do with himself. So he sends back "I Know" and that's it. So I called my Dh on my way home from work to let him know I was running late.. he talks some.. still no mention of receiving anything. I get home from work and my 12 Y.o skid says hi happily and the 16 y.o. doesn't even say hi to me.. so im thinking okay..whatever. As I walk towards my husband I see the open card on the table. So he obviously got it. Well I spent 1.5 hrs with him before he had to drop them back off to their BM and he said NOTHING about it.. I'm wondering if he thinks its from their BM instead of me. Which will just anger me even more. I'm not saying anything about it to him unless he brings it up because the bottom line was that I wanted him to have a gift from his ungrateful kids.. and he does. Also when the kids left to go home 16 y.o. didn't say bye to me.. I guess he is mad that I reminded him to give his dad the card.. sorry..that will NOT happen again. TRUST ME. Next year he will be driving and I know he has money so I am not buying anything for them. I am so hurt by my DH non-acknowledgement with this and the attitude I get from my 16 y.o. skid.. I was just trying to do something good. Goes to show you no good Deed goes unpunished. O well.. live and learn. Thanks ladies again for the support.