my bf was served with papers yesterday from bm's lawyer, a motion for suspension or termination of visitation. she claims she knows "through conversations with her daughter" that not only is my bf using marijuana both recreationally and while visiting his daughter, but also that he takes sd to parties where alcohol is being consumed and there is little to no adult supervision, and that he has left her in a hotel room with strangers. she says that she fears for the safety of her daughter if the father's visitations aren't terminated or supervised by her or someone of her choice. needless to say, we are IRATE!

all of this is false. i have no idea what bm's motives are in doing this, except that since she's pregnant now she must want her baby, sd, her new husband , and herself to be one big happy family without the complications of sd's real dad. she's already got sd calling her new stepdad daddy, and sd has recently started calling my bf by his first name. bm claims she hasn't encouraged this but sd is FIVE. she didn't decide this shit on her own.

i will admit my bf and i are both occasional smokers, and bm knows this because she herself has done it with my bf when they were together, and thus because she knows this about him she says he smokes while visiting his daughter even though there is NO evidence to support that. he rarely does it and DEFINITELY not around a 5year old. and he can and will take a drug test for the court to prove this. marijuana stays in the system for 30 days so his clean test will prove he hasn't touched it at least within the past month.

the accusations about taking sd to parties though are completely made up. if i were able to have a conversation myself with bm about this i would want to ask her what the hell she is talking about. the ONLY party sd has been to with us was my bf's youngest sister's graduation party this past summer. there was no alcohol there until AFTER we dropped sd back off to bm, up until then it was a family party with 70-80 yr old women in attendance and there are tons of pictures to verify that it wasn't in any way an alcohol party and that there was PLENTY of adult supervision. sd was slip-n-sliding and running around with our dog. we met bm to drop sd off at 6 that day and she would have been able to tell if we were intoxicated, and it was a 45 minute drive each way to meet her.

the hotel room incident she mentions happened when my bf and i took sd with us on my bf's work trip and allowed sd to play in the room RIGHT NEXT TO us with about 5 of his co-workers' kids. BOTH doors were open and the children were all running back and forth between rooms having a blast. granted, there WAS a wall between us part of the HOUR we were with these people, but we were less than 25 feet away from sd and she knew exactly where to find us. one of the kids in the room with her was 16 years old. what were we supposed to do? go down for my bf to socialize with his new co-worker, let sd see and hear the kids romping and playing in the room right beside us, and say 'no dear you have to stay right here with daddy you're not allowed to play.' i guess bm allowing her friend's stepdad who has been convicted of CHILD MOLESTATION to babysit sd when she isn't even in the same HOUSE is better than my bf allowing sd to play with a group of kids in the next room for an hour.

i in no way, shape, or form think that my bf and i are perfect people. but NEITHER is bm. she has no right to do this to him and we plan to go to a lawyer and eplain everything and as God is my witness we WILL go broke fighting this. she has no right to say that just because he HAS smoked some pot in the past and let his daughter go PLAY that he needs to be supervised while he has her.

does anyone think he has a chance here? or is the court going to see all this coming from a mother and just assume the father is denying everything to cover his ass? we have witnesses that were there at the so-called party, and also people who were at the hotel. and as i said, his drug test will come back clean.

this woman just will not stop.

-oh, and i forgot to point out, the part where she said she got this information through conversations with her daughter...this is the result of bm's constant grilling of sd every time she gets her back, and of course a 5 year old is only going to give you spotty details like "i was playing in a hotel room with a bunch of kids" and when mom asks "where was daddy" and sd says in another room, or whatever the conversation was, PRESTO! he left her alone with strangers.

of course bm never thought not to simply take a 5yr old's word for it all and come to my bf and ask what happened, she just went ahead to her lawyer's and filed the papers. this is why i believe all this is for bm's own benefit with building her dream family, and NOT really because she is concerned with sd's safety. if that's what she was worried about why not address my bf with these crazy accusations and tell him something needs to change, considering she claims she knows how important it is for my bf to be in sd's life?

sd tells us all kinds of things we consider to be exaggerations, such as her new stepdad doing donuts with her in the truck and not belted in, should we have kept a list of all the off-the-wall things sd tells us and taken it to our lawyer without asking bm what the hell was going on with the donuts? it's all just so freakin' ridiculous that i'm surprised i haven't broken this woman's nose yet.