I don’t know what to do!
Okay this is what’s on my mind. This is our weekend with skids. Hubby is usually off on weekend but he works this Sunday. Now I used to watch them with out a problem when he had to work even- when my SD10 would go back home telling BM that I was mean and always yelling at them. Of course hubby was not there but every time that BM would call to Bitch him out he would always say “she is not like that....” Sd10 is just tells you what you want to hear! Sd8 would always tell BM that it was not true. That I was super nice and fun. That went on for a good while (yrs) until BM text me one day (6 mos. ago) that I was not the mother and to let their Father and her do there job in raising the children. So its been a while that I don’t watch them if hubby has to work. Of course BM tell the girls I don’t love them enough because If I did they would be able to stay with me. WTF!!!! I do feel bad when Sd8 asks if she could please, please stay. I always make up a story that I have something to do so they won’t feel as bad. Hubby will be working form 8a.m -6p.m. and the drive home takes him about a good 40 min. We also need to take the girls back home by 6p.m. I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty! I just have so so much hate toward BM right now. I know it’s not the girls fault, but I cant help it...
My questions are ...
Should I stay with the girls if they beg me to stay?
How can I stop feeling so much hate towards my SD’s mom?
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I would remind the ex of the
I would remind the ex of the text and let the girls know that mom things it's better if they stay with her instead...then they can take it to mom...
I used to "babysit" also until this crap started...then, no more...and I don't regret it...she no longer had anything to call and complain about...if she called to complain that DH was not keeping his daughter, he would quickly tell her it was "her" choice and hang up...period.
I would say that you have to
I would say that you have to fight back against the alienation campaign that BM is waging. If the girls want to stay and you want to stay with them, STAY! The only ones hurt by you backing off (especially if you don't want to) are them. Wilda tried pulling the "stepmom008 is not SD's mother. if I want something this way, then I should get it). You know what? I DIDN'T back off and there's not been another word about it. It all boils down to her insecurity. I think you should keep doing what works for YOU and the girls, and what's comfortable for YOU and the girls. BM can try alienating them as much as she wants but as long as they can see and be told that you love them, it'll be okay. Maybe I'm an idealist but I like to think that the best will happen if you give your best.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
My SD's are great. I love
My SD's are great. I love them so much. I do feel hurt with SD10 for talking bad about me but I know she doesnt like to be told what to do, and BM has told her many lies about me. I know she is very confused. She has heard alot of bad stuff about me and hubby. Thanks so much.
~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~
The sad thing is that the
The sad thing is that the children are in the middle of this conflict. Children need to feel secure. Let their mother be the mother and their father be the father. You and your husband have a special loving relationship that you need to preserve and cherish. Focus on your relationship to him and connect with what his wishes are in the daily rearing of the childre without tangling yourself up with the BM. Keeping firsthand involvement with her will keep you upset and your life chaotic. Don't let what the children say or what she says bother you. Just keep close communication with your husband regarding his children and work as a team. You will feel better and the children will need to respect their father's wishes when issues come up.
Thank you so much ladies, I
Thank you so much ladies, I really needed to hear this. Its sad that I do get all tangled up with my feelings towards BM. I don’t hate her, even though Ive said it from time to time, but c’mon its been 9 year and she is still at it....
~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~