A poll.. Silly fear or no?????

Not sure how to post an official poll.. but if you can respond what you think that would be great!

Do you think its a silly fear to let your skids BM have access to YOUR social security number? Who hear has no problem handing over that info to her?

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Not silly. I don't let

Not silly. I don't let anyone have it at this point. She has no need for your info.

Jen

Um I don't give my social to

Um I don't give my social to ANYONE!!! That is not silly in the slightest!! What the hell would she need it for?!

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

No I don't. In my situation I could trust mine with it and know she would do nothing illegal, BUT most of the women on here do not have that luxury. My BM is a person who is always right & selfish with the childrens time... a criminal she is not.

Is the stepmother's SS# on

Is the stepmother's SS# on the card?!

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

That's kind of stupid to

That's kind of stupid to have the SS# on the card... I have BCBS and mine isn't on there. Can she call her medical provider and ask for a card w/o that information??

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

umm.. not sure, but the

umm.. not sure, but the point is, she is being told that not wanting the Bm to have her SS# is a silly fear. I just want to know if people agree that its a silly or legitatmate fear.

My insurance card doesn't

My insurance card doesn't have my social. It's the group number and policy number that's printed on it. I think that they do ask for the social security number of the primary insured (employee) when completing paperwork at the doctor's office but I'm sure there's a way to complete the paperwork without this information. BM took SS to the doctor last year and I'm pretty sure that she does not know my social but we did give her an insurance card.

ok.. but the question is, do

ok.. but the question is, do you think its a silly fear to give BM your SS#?

Some cards have it on there. Mine does, my old BCBS did. its was the policy number sans the dashes.

There is no freaking way I

There is no freaking way I would ever let BM have my SS#. Or anyone else except my DH, for that matter. That's just crazy.

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

didn't see this, sorry. Gave

didn't see this, sorry. Gave my reply to the main post.

I think it would be pure

I think it would be pure stupidity to give BM my SSN#...she would be the first person to be getting credit in my name...that's just how she is

I can assure you, if you

I can assure you, if you were the BM to my skid, and I was insuring your kid, and you had that attitude, your kid would be DROPPED the following day. She also wanted her DH to do it if possible. stop changing the circumstances to be what you WANT them to be, rather than what they are! Thank you!!

You have a lot of

You have a lot of MISDIRECTED anger, and I think you need to think about that.

You know what the OP had stated in her blog.. and you know that his work did NOT offer the insurance. Quit making it about something its not.

Seriously.. what are you so angry about? You have ISSUES lady.

umm.. yeah I am aware, I am

umm.. yeah I am aware, I am not narrow minded like you. Tell you what stepaside.. the instance I gave was for you and you alone. I think you have a very poor attitude and can be extremely rude. You do not like anyone's opinions but your own, which is probably why your adult skids do not like you. You have misdirected anger. Say what you will about me.. but I totally do not take out my frustrations on other SMs just to get my kicks.

I saw what you wrote about CM in the Tale of two families, she gave a supportive comment and you took it upon yourself to rip her to shreds in there. Do you have nothing better to do? your holding a grudge against this woman, and well, now me.. (whip dee doo) for no reason. This site is for people to come and vent at w/o people being rude, mean and beligerant.. but you dont seem to get that concept.. that is a shame. And if you drive away new members who need this site, that is just unaccusable.

What you dont like is I called you on a comment you made that was just ridiculous, you have misled in a lot of your posts here and now are just turning to anger. Perhaps you need a time out.

ha.. omg.. was this

ha.. omg.. was this supposed to make me mad or something??? What are you 9 yrs old?

BM is ALSO court ordered to

BM is ALSO court ordered to provide all 3 types of insurance (which are available to her) and she is not.........so my DH is not in contempt (he is not ofference vision or dental only medical) so I carry her on my vision and dental only...BM is

Actually, if you had read

Actually, if you had read the vent for what it was, it was her frustration w/the lack of response.. it wasnt her complaining about taking the child or anything like that.. again, perhaps you can go read the OP again and see what she was saying and NOT what you were reading into it. and she wasnt dictating as you have now twisted it to be.

I wasn't dictating that I

I wasn't dictating that I had to take her.......but if that's what you read into that is your opinion......I simply stated that it was simpler for me to take her than for DH to get a day off work b/c of where he works and how he works

The ID# is the SSN#

The ID# is the SSN# therefore you can't get a copy of the card without the SSN# because then the Doctor's Office will not have the ID#.....Several vision insurances do this

Also, the BM is supposed to be carrying vision insurance (which she has but is not covering SD) DH doesn't have vision insurance available to him so I cover SD

Lets be fair.. she said she

Lets be fair.. she said she or her DH need to take her. NOT just SM.

She said he couldnt on the

She said he couldnt on the date that was earlier.. but she in no way said that she and she alone is the ONLY person that could take this child to an appt. Just that he wasnt available for the earlier one.

and the fact that BM won't

and the fact that BM won't take her b/c she is too busy worrying about her skids to impress her husband.....the kid has been without her glasses since November

My insurance card doesn't

My insurance card doesn't have my SS# on it. It depends on what insurance you have, not sure if I'm correct, but I do believe Tricare has the SS# on the card.

___________________________________________________________________________
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

They absolutely do as that

They absolutely do as that is my current insurance, as does bluecross and blueshield (I used to have them when I was single), and there was another insurance I had at another point same thing.

I have blue cross blue

I have blue cross blue shield and I am looking at my card now, my SS# is no where to be seen...

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

They must have changed in

They must have changed in the past 5 yrs, but I know that is what the skids have, and its why she doesnt send the card, and we are ok w/that. We just have to have the ER call if we were ever to take them!

Just took a look at my

Just took a look at my insurance card (BCBS) and it doesn't have my SS# on it. Not to say that some don't, but mine doesn't.

___________________________________________________________________________
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

ahem clearing

*ahem* clearing throat...dragging out soapbox...putting on insurance expert helmet:)

Some insurance companies often use the patients SS as the indentifier. they will commonly display the entire social as example with medicare, the full social is displayed with an A or a B after it to determine the plan.
MOST insurance companies are working to provide patients with a unique ID without using the SS#. But not all patients have an updated product due to back ups in their HR department or back ups in the local processing office at the insurance company. It could be that the person in question has not been provided with an updated product on the insurance and has no choice but to use a card displaying the SS#.

Example: united concordia dental hmo plans have it split, some patients use their ss# and some use a 10 digit id.
Carefirst is also split. united healthcare is fairly up to date and most patients have an id complete with letters and numbers.
however, IF the member calls the insurance company and requests an additional id number to replace their social, sometimes it is possible to get the insurance to provide an alternate id...I've seen it happen before and i've done it myself.

*dragging soapbox away...*

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

Thank you BBB. I know you

Thank you BBB. I know you would know first hand, seeing as you deal w/Insurance cards DAILY!!

"dragging your soapbox

"dragging your soapbox away"
LOL, you're so funny BBB! By the way, how's your grandfather? (or is it your father who had a stroke)

thx...i try... if I didn't

thx...i try... if I didn't make funny today i'd cry. stressed and tired.

my grandfather is ok, he's resting at my house right now with my uncle and my brother giving him round the clock help. he's gonna be ok...just not right now. thank you for asking honey

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

Well that's good that your

Well that's good that your brother and uncle are helping out. Glad to hear that he will be okay!

I don't have BCBS

Yes, the SM's SS# is on the

Yes, the SM's SS# is on the insurance card. Which is how everyone's is set up. Take a look at yours.. should be your insurance number.

Oh.. and I can tell you, my skids have insurance through their SD that the BM would rather us use, but will not give us the insurance card, and you know what??? we have NEVER questioned her about it. Its their RIGHT to protect their PERSONAL identification information. If you dont protect it, who will?

You stated handing over he

You stated handing over he ss# is a silly fear.. I am simply helping you see that its NOT a silly fear and a very REALISTIC one at that. Have you called up your skids bm yet and given her your SS# seeing how its a silly fear??? I just think your words should be chosen wisely, and in this instance of beating up that SM you, well didnt.

You dont like the poll? too bad. I am seeing what others would do. its not out of context.. its not info that ANYONE should be sharing w/someone that isnt their spouse or parent.

Why dont you see what BBB

Why dont you see what BBB had done to her? are you for real? Then the mother should insure her child per the court document, or respond to the SM's dh that also followed up on the appt. Dont even put this on SM. Like anything good would happen from SM pressing charges and having the BM put in jail.

Call up your bm and give her your SS# then if you think its a SILLY FEAR. Put your money and credit where your mouth is!!

OK.. you think its silly.

OK.. you think its silly. You are in the MINORITY on this one.. so perhaps show us all that you think its truly silly, and not just in somoene's case w/someone else's credit and call your skids BM and hand over your SS#. Better yet, post it on here. Show us all that we are silly.

Not silly at all. I don't

Not silly at all. I don't give it to just anyone either. It damn near killed me when I had to provide her with the insurance information we carry on my SS (COrdered to provide and tell her) - we carry it through my employer for affordability.

Even though the IDs aren't close to soc # - makes me nervous.

Frizz has my social...but it

Frizz has my social...but it wasn't by my choice. She actually used it to get information about me from my doctors offices,namely,my plastic surgeon. Somehow, the mail got screwed up and their recall letter from my tummy tuck went to her instead of me(even though my address was on it?weird) so she called...as me to inquire about all kinds of stuff and used my social as her "in".
Thankfully, the secretary there knows my voice and wouldn't tell her anything and the secretary immediately called me to alert me on the issue.

Frizz has pulled my credit report and everything using my social. everyone gets a free credit report annually through one of the three reporting agencies so I went to pull my free one last year and was told it was already done earlier that year...well I didn't do it but guess who did? I called to find out which email the report info was being sent to and it was her email. Isn't that lovely?

We can change our names legally, change our identity legally but we can't change our social and I wish everyday that we were allowed to do that bc I'd do it in a heartbeat to protect my privacy from Frizz.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

There you go. THIS is the

There you go. THIS is the reason that you the OP should not give her social to the BM.

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

No F-in way should BM have

No F-in way should BM have your SSN. No way, no how, never, ever, ever.

We blacked out our SSN's when we submitted tax documentation during my SS's several Custody/Visitation/Support hearings.

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

like ~*~When you kiss

**like**

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

If the father is required to

If the father is required to provide medical insurance for the child, then the father needs to step up and do it. If the mother is required to then the mother needs to step up and do it. Both BM and BD are not doing their job by finding suitable insurance between the two of them.

My fiance's kids have CHIP insurance because my FDH doesn't have any and BM doesn't have a job. They will not go on mine when we get married, they will stay on their CHIP plan, even if it means a little added cost. There is basic insurance out there to be taken advantage of, if neither parent has their own.

Jen

Again.. you are TWISTING

Again.. you are TWISTING everything to fit your theory that she has a silly fear.

Its NOT the case. You are just being ridiculous now. The SM is not saying that she and she alone can do this, her dh can as well.

I dont have my skids insurance card that the BM would rather we use, as it has her dh's ss# on it.. and we dont think its silly. Its personal information for a reason. If you dont take care of yours, then your silly. Identity theft can RUIN a family. You wouldnt take it likely if it had happened to you in the past.

the skid in question's mom

the skid in question's mom is supposed to provide it as well. she doesnt. The dh's job does not offer it... so SM insured her. Bm's offers it, she just turned it down.

Right. Both parents are

Right. Both parents are failing at this part of their job.

There are children's health insurance programs out there. BCBS, Aetna and others have plans you can buy. Basic, yes, but I used to do it and it was enough for regular check-ups and prescriptions.

There are ways for BM OR BD to get insurance for the children without bothering the SM. SM's choice to insure the child...so she has to deal with the ramifications of doing so. Go to the doctor & have them put the card on file without disclosing information, ask the insurance company for a card with a non-SSN number or something. Extra work for SM, yes...but she chose to be the one who covers them.

But no, no one gets my SSN...although it is easy enough to find nowadays anyway.

Jen

He isnt failing, his work

He isnt failing, his work doesnt offer it, so his wife covered them. that isnt failing. Failing would be if there was no insurace for this kid.. but there is.

And again, bm isnt even asking for the card or to take the child herself, she would rather ignore the problem.

Dad and Mom are not

Dad and Mom are not providing insurance. Say SM wasn't in the picture...what would happen then? That is what I think mom and dad should do and not rely on SM.

There is insurance out there to be had without involving SM. I don't think someone should be able to cover someone else's kid and then refuse to give the insurance information out. I do think that I would refuse to give SSN out...so therefore I won't cover FDH's kids. Doing that would mean that mom should get info in case something happens on her time. I won't take that risk. Think it is silly that SM does.

"And again, bm isnt even asking for the card or to take the child herself, she would rather ignore the problem"

Ok...moot point then, I guess. But she might someday. Good to be proactive with this stuff and be prepared for anything.

Jen

OK, I agree with StepAside

OK, I agree with StepAside and I don't.

I don't agree that it is a silly fear. I put nothing past anyone.

I DO agree that there is a way around it, somehow. I am sure there are options that you can continue to provide healthcare for your steps that will allow BM to take them to the doctor without having your information. Call your insurance company and ask questions. Explain to them the situation and ask how they can help. I am sure they will be willing to help if you tell them you will drop the skids if they can't help protect your personal information.

You cannot be the first person in history this has come up with. Just make a few calls, no need to stress out.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

My turn to LIKE ***Life

My turn to *LIKE*

***Life - It's not a rehearsal***

That wasnt in question.

That wasnt in question. They had a solution, dh is taking the child when he has his time. BM has no interest in even taking the child.. which really makes her arguements and statements a mute point.

There really isn't any way

There really isn't any way around the ss problem unless she gets new insurance or tries to find a loophole by getting an alternate id. I don't think that stepaside meant it as a disrespect or brush off by saying the fear is silly...I think she was trying to express that it's pointless to worry about it bc Bm will get the social if she really wants it that bad. It's really easy to find that information if you know enough about the person. I could be wrong and if I am, stepaside please correct me...I think she's just saying it's silly to stress about it bc it's unavoidable. BM will get that social no matter what if she wants it bad enough...but she will get caught and get into big trouble if you can prove she is using it to ruin you.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

I think it's a legitimate

I think it's a legitimate argument - I don't allow ANYONE to see my social security number. I would have to call the insurance company and go nuts that they're printing cards with people's SSN's. Maybe it's possible to get a card issued that doesn't have it printed on it.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Let her find it then.. I

Let her find it then.. I dont think that kind of info should just be handed over to a bm when avoidable. Sorry. And besides, this bm doesnt even WANT the insurance card, she doesnt even want to take the child to get glasses, and hasnt even tried to get the kid glasses. stepaside just stooped to whatever she could to beat up on a SM who had great intentions and just twisted every word she could.

We have UHC (United Health

We have UHC (United Health Care). No SSN on either the med insurance card, the dental insurance card or the Medco card.

What would the solution be

What would the solution be if CM were not in the picture. Who would provide the insurance on SD? Who would take SD to the doctor? Who would make the appointments? Who would communicate about the medical care of SD?

Why won't BM provide insurance for SD?, why won't BM take SD to the eye doctor?...just facts, no assumptions.
Who is *required* to provide insurance for SD? If both are, then what would DH do if CM weren't around?

___________________________________________________________________________
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

In light of the fact that

In light of the fact that our BM has a criminal history related to fraud, NEVER (yes, yelling!) in a million years would I give that witch my ss#! I don't even want her knowing what my maiden name is, lol!

DH & I have insurance through my employer (I work for the state) and no where on the insurance, dental, eye med, or pharmacy cards is my ss# listed; just a group number, group name, my name and a member's id, which is definitely not my ss#. The university I work for has gone to great lengths to protect our ss# (and our students) - we use what they refer to as "dawg tag" numbers for almost everything related to work.

I'm currently staring at a

I'm currently staring at a copy of a metlife id card...the primary subscriber's social is being displayed proudly for all the world to see. But her Blue Cross Blue Shield FEP medical card has a unique identifier that isn't her social.

I just called her Metlife and got an alternate id to avoid putting her social on our claims.

(i don't have a point...just putting that info out there...)

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

I don't want BM or anyone

I don't want BM or anyone else to have my social security number. I don't think she would do anything illegal with it, but I just don't want her to have it. However, I would find another way for her to achieve the goal of having SS treated at a doctor WITHOUT her knowing my social security number. I read the other post that is being referenced in here and agree that it had nothing to do with who held the insurance but rather, the BM not responding to either the SM or the father about the need for an earlier appointment. It is interesting though, hence why I posted myself, how many stepparents do what with regards to their skids and insurance benefits. I'm sure with the high divorce rate and re-marriage rates, that this is not new to the many doctor's offices out there. I'm sure there's some kind of form that either both or one bioparent can sign, have it notarized etc. to allow the stepparent to take the skid for medical treatment in the event that neither bioparent can. Just as I'm sure you can write a letter or talk to the staff at the doctor about keeping the information on file or calling the insurance holder to get the social security without having it divulged to the other bioparent.

Anyway, back to the post, no, I don't think it's silly to want to safeguard your information (social security etc) in this day and age of the internet, identity theft etc.

Absolutely not. No reason

Absolutely not. No reason why she should EVER have that.

Get a life. You, I said if

Get a life.

You, I said if you were the bm to my skids.. this has nothing to do w/my actual skids, this has to do w/you being beligerant and frustrated angry woman.

I picked that name over 2 years ago.. when I came to this site frustrated and not knowing where to turn. Since joining I can actually say that I am way less frustrated in life.

Would you like me to change my id name dear?? would that make you happier?? Perhaps then you could find something else to rip on me for??? Would that make you feel better about your miserable life? If it would.. by all means.. go for it.

My XH is CO'd to carry

My XH is CO'd to carry insurance on our child. His employer does not offer health coverage, so I carried DS on my insurance plan. SM didn't like that scenario, so they decided to put DS on her employer's insurance plan. I was given an insurance card for the first year, but was denied a card thereafter because of this same issue. She didn't want me to have access to her "personal information."

Yeah, okay. First off, if you don't want me to have access to this *personal info,* don't carry my child on your insurance. Or request a copy of the card without personal ID #'s on it. Or let XH purchase a policy so you don't have to be involved. We had a system that was working, and SM changed it up. Fine, I rolled with it. But at least give me some insurance info so I can take my kid to the doctor and not have to pay OOP. Even just the company name and group #? There are ways to work with the situation, but I think she gets a thrill out of her ability to control this issue - like it's something she can lord over me.

Whatever. Dude, this is MY CHILD. I can take my child to the doctor and ask to see my child's file. I can see EVERYTHING in that file. I can change information in that file. I can see the copy of that insurance card that they keep on file in there and get whatever information I want from it.

She THINKS she has control. But, in reality, the tighter she holds onto those reins, the more she loses that perceived control.

You're getting something out of this: be it a feeling of control, or of pissing off the child's mother, or having something to lord over your DH's head. But you're getting SOMETHING out of this situation. If you don't like it, change it. But don't blame anyone else for the stress you feel. You've set things up to be this way. You could change it, if you wanted to.

Why do you feel that she is

Why do you feel that she is getting something out of it?? why isnt it that she is doing it w/good intentions. I guess I am just confused WHY people just assume the worse when it comes to a SM.

Your SM doesnt sound nice at all, that she insisted that she carry your child on her insurance.. that doesnt even make sense to me if you were doing it.

But really, have we all become that jaded that we dont think that ANYONE has any good intentions anymore?

Oh, I believed her

Oh, I believed her intentions were fine. I always try to think the better of someone that the bad. I personally think this whole not-wanting-me-to-have-her-personal-info stuff is crap. It's an excuse. An excuse to control an issue that she thinks directly affects me. Whatever. I can figure out a way to make lemonade out of her lemons.

Funny thing is, no matter what, XH and I share any OOP costs 50/50, so it comes back on him eventually.

I really don't care, either way. But it just doesn't make sense, right? I don't have a history of identity theft... why make it SO HARD? Because she GETS something out of it. That's the only reason I can come up with.

But, like I said, the tighter you hold on to something, the less control you actually have.

I agree completely with

I agree completely with StepAside. Frustrated is a freak. She has been sending me harassing Private Messages going on and on about the validity of her points.... Good God.... If she's not my son's psycho-ass SM... she is the closest thing to her clone that I've ever seen.... SCARY! Can't wait to ignore her response on this one! She can't drop it... I seriously think she needs help.

She has been sending me

She has been sending me harassing Private Messages

I sent you 1 (ONE) PM, and it was exactly what I posted to you in a blog. How you turned that into a plural is beyond me... soooooo I think you are blowing that one way out of proportion. You want to think I am a freak.. so be it.. I could care less what you THINK about me. Your the one that needs help.. you are actually lying to people on here..

Do you need the definition of harassing??? Here it is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harassing

I can only imagine that you are a psycho BM..

I've decided to remove

I've decided to remove myself from this site. Thanks for all your advice!

I am really afraid of BM

I am really afraid of BM getting any of my personal information - SS#, Drivers License #, Passport #, Bank Account # etc. I wanted to protect even my insurance ID# because they never ask for ID, just your insurance card or number, BM doesn't have insurance and it would be easy for her to pretend to be me if she had all my info because DH is the primary account holder and she has ALL his info. It would be very stupid of her to do so, but I wouldn't put it beyond her, because she'd simply make it a huge hassle to get any money back from her and the drama of getting it back may not even be worth the money. She's already attempted to commit fraud by trying to deposit a check made out to DH by forging his signature and pretending to be still married to him. The only thing stopping her from pretending to be me is my info. Prevention is wayyy better than cure in this scenario.

When we had to add the kids to the insurance, we asked for their names to be on a separate card for BM. The insurance company initially said it couldn't be done but on the second call, I spoke to a different person who seemed to understand or at least empathize with these intricacies of blended families and she fixed up the separate card right away!

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A poll.. Silly fear or no?????

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