Caught SD lying on the phone again to BD...
saying such lies about my wife, myself and the kids. Therapy isn't working, trying to show her we believe her and trust her isn't working, giving her the benefit of the doubt isn't working...she literally doesn't know the truth from the lies anymore. I really wish I didn't care about this kid because i'd walk away...but I do care. Any advice would be greatly appreciated because I truly have tried everything and the only thing that seems to scare her is the idea of going to live with her BD full time.
- fedupstepdad's blog
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BD? Biological dad? Did
BD? Biological dad? Did you confront your wife about this? Did you walk away from the conversation? Did you talk to BD about it?
Been doing therapy for
Been doing therapy for YEARS...recently started doing marriage therapy because wife has seen her way clear to support this nonsense and it's tearing us apart. BD is biological dad and confronting him does nothing since his mantra is "if you believe it's true than it is" Wife is having hard time because she sees it, knows its dangerous but has had a hand in this because she has turned a blind eye for so long...
I totally agree with this
I totally agree with this "your sd will not change unless your wife changes."
What incentive does SD have to change her ways until her mother leads by example?
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."
"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~
I totally agree. This will
I totally agree. This will only change if your wife metes out consequences for it. And sticks to them.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
What are the lies? And is
What are the lies? And is it the fact that SD is lying to BD, or that BD might believe what SD is lying about?...or both?
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
wife is coming around but
wife is coming around but will take a whilei'm sure...MM she lies about everything...how she did on her test (told him 80 it was 65) that her mom didnt cook dinner as usual (wife made a beautiful dinner and she told him she had a weight watchers frozen dinner..i dont even allow that crap in my fridge)that shes soooo bored here because no one has time for her (because of all the kids which is the complete opposite between school and their afterschool teams the kids aren't even home til 630 7sh most mights....she and her mom have all that time together and do great things) and that shes not allowed to have fun or play or watch tv (which is all this kid is good for) and how she cant wait to go there because and i quote "its so much better with you when i'm home because you actually love me and make sure i have fun!"...I wish I could upload video of this kid crying her eyes out 2 days before she goes there beggiing her mom to let her stay here because she hates it there...this kid is going to be really messed up from all of this...
Now, you're the one who's
Now, you're the one who's wife freaked out on you last time this happened and she accused you of spying on SD right? I'm curious how you found out about the lies this time and what you're wife's reaction would be to that? It sounds like she IS starting to come around so I'm curious if there's been any progress on that front?
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Wife is coming around and to
Wife is coming around and to be honest, I was in my sons room helping him with a project when she was on the phone in her room (right next to his) and thinks because her door is closed her LOUD talking won't be heard...but i heard every word. And for those who will come back at me, my son and I were in his room way before she went to her room to make her call lol. My wife finally has had it and has basically told SD that this can not and will not go on. Like most of you have said, she has to hold fast to these threats because that is where she will likely have a problem as her child has been always able to make her fold. I'm praying for that to change...
"You actually love me and
"You actually love me and make sure I have fun!" i.e. love = fun.
reminds me of the milk commercial, but in many of our situations, it's more like "Got boundaries?"
lol Usade, that might be a
lol Usade, that might be a potential new quote:) We should make t-shirts..."Got boundaries?" With a picture of an angry kid with a line crossed through it:)
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."
"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~
Oh man, I saw "Got
Oh man, I saw "Got boundaries" in another of your posts and thought EXACTLY that! Damn, I need to be more active, write a children's book about a step-situation AND get T's printed! I need to make money so I can stay out of the press for "being desperate for a man"! lol Then I'll just buy one of the good guys that Rags is pimping...
LOL. ________________________
LOL.
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.