wedding hair
DH and I got married at City Hall a while back, and we've planned a wedding party to celebrate in May. SD5 is over the moon excited about being a flower girl, and has been growing her hair long for months in anticipation. BM cut her hair really, really short last week. SD was crying about it this weekend and kept asking me if it will be long again in time for the wedding (it won't, but I kept telling her it will be perfect and beautiful).
She already is an anxious little girl, and it is amazing to me that BM would/could do this. I'm not a BM, so I can't imagine the rage and resentment BM probably has from time to time when she hears about our life and our plans, but still...why would you do this to your daughter?
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Because BM doesn't care
Because BM doesn't care about anything other than hurting you, and doesn't really care about her daughter. She figured that this would make you mad and ruin your wedding, so she didn't care that it hurt your SD more than it did you.
I would take SD to a wig store and have them make her something that she can either clip in and make her hair look long, or get a full wig for her if she is really upset about having short hair.
The BM in my situation told my Skids that there was no Santa Claus, on Christmas Eve, the first year that we were allowed to have them overnight. They were 6 and 7. How is that for destroying a child's Christmas. All because she found out that I was excited to "play Santa Claus" with them. So, she made sure that she ruined that, and pretty much every holiday since. I don't care about holidays at all anymore.
If you BM is this vindictive already, you are in for some very rough years ahead. If you are not prepared to deal with evil, lying BM, always having to change your life to accomodate her schedule, and always coming second to your stepchild, you might want to consider an anullment.
Wow, yours waited til they
Wow, yours waited til they were 6 & 7?? My skids bm told them the day after Christmas, they had just turned 5 that month. YEP, these chicks should get Mother of the Year awards!!
Oh how sad for your
Oh how sad for your stepdaughter.
I really like almostover's suggestion for clip ins or even a wig if the little girl is that disappointed. What a crappy thing for a mom to do.
"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown
Being a BM and a SM myself,
Being a BM and a SM myself, I can not imagine being THAT cruel and mean and using a kid to do that, poor little thing. She'll be beautiful no matter what! And thank goodness she has you to help her feel pretty that on such a special day.
I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown
It's funny, because SD and I
It's funny, because SD and I are quite close, and this weekend she said to me that she would look beautiful if I do her hair for the wedding, which made me think that BM's plan has completely backfired.
Good ideas. I have been
Good ideas. I have been trying to make her feel like it's a really good thing because we can put all kinds of flowers in clips in her hair, and it will be easier for her to take care of, etc. At the end of the weekend, she seemed better...but hair clips ins are a great idea, and I bet that she'd love picking it out.
So sad that adults do things like this. The Santa story is just absurd. What a mean thing to do to young children.
DH and I have actually been legally married for a long time, so I think we are way beyond annulment! : ) We are pretty happy, and I find that the grenades BM throws tend to just bind us together tighter, thank goodness. BM has been terrible from the start -- mean side comments, really passive aggressive behavior -- but this is one of the first times she has openly hurt SD to affect us.
That is just terrible. I
That is just terrible. I can't even fathom why in the world anyone would do this to their child.
If I were you I'd take her with me to the beauty salon and get flowers put in her hair, etc, and make her feel just georgus on that day.
Me either. DH said
Me either. DH said something about how he doubted BM would cut SD's hair so short without SD's input. I asked SD, and she said "mommy said it was a little trim."
Goodness, men are so clueless sometimes.
I think sometimes DH defends
I think sometimes DH defends BM's actions/spitefulness because he doesn't want to admit he one time loved someone like that. At least in my relationship it seems that way. I just hope your SD has a magical day and feels like a little princess. Let BM try to ruin that memory, SD will always remember what her BM did to her hair, but also remember how you made her feel special and pretty. It'll backfire all right...karma can stink sometimes!
I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown
Or go to a salon and have
Or go to a salon and have them give her suggestions for cute things she can do with short hair, if you don't want to use the wig/clip in extensions route. I have seen tons of cute hair-dos on short cuts and a good stylist will be able to make her feel very special.
Or try cheerleaderhairpieces.com - if she can get the front of her hair up somehow you can also buy a little curly/messy bun to put in it and it will look like she has tons of hair up in a updo. I've used the "Hailey" style on that website at least 4 times wth my short (chin length) hair for updos when I've been in weddings.
TERRIBLY sorry that you have to deal with a BM like this...it is so sad that some women will use their children like that.